I finally after almost 4 months, I finally hit my 5% weight loss goal!
Granted it took forever, or what seemed like forever.
While I am a huge fan of the weekly meetings, the one downside is hearing how everyone else is flying past me on their losses. I know they are working very hard at it, and maybe if I did more, then I would be having huge losses. I am intentionally doing this slowly- I don't want it to feel like a diet. I know small changes got me to where I am and small changes will get me back.
I have to say, I am ecstatic about losing weight during the holiday season. For all the people who wait to put off their health and fitness goals until January, I think they are making a big mistake. I can only imagine how I would have had a "might as well eat everything, since I'm starting a diet after New Year's" and the damage it would have done.
It's been a long road, but honestly if it stays at this pace, I'm good. While I would like to lose 80 pounds by this time next spring, you know what? Thirty-forty pounds would be more than okay. My birthday is in January and regardless of what the number on the scale is, it will be smaller than it was last year.
A woman today hit her second 10% goal. She's down 45 pounds. She looked great. She said she started out thinking that 80 pounds was a lot to loose- I honestly can't imagine her losing another 40 by the way-- but the small steps over the past year have kept her going.
I swear, I think sometimes they plant these people or change the topic to make it fit whatever is going through my head at that moment. And that's the bigger bonus of the meetings. They help keep you on track and you don't feel like the lonely fat chick.
One more week down. 1.6 pounds gone.
Yippee!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
And the scale goes down, down, down...
Woo hoo!! Another 1.2 pounds gone!
I as stunned because Saturday night, late, my husband and I decided to go get In N Out Burgers. It's been a really long time since we'd done that, late at night. And might I say, it tasted good.
But here's what I'm learning at Weight Watchers-- it's okay. It's not okay if I do it every day. But once, was fine. And I didn't feel guilty. I really don't want this be a diet and passing on it, would have felt like dieting. We went to 2 parties over the weekend and I had one drink at each and stuck with the veggies. Clearly it was worth it. I got to eat what I really wanted- the burger- rather than simply noshing on things I didn't like because they were there- like the meatballs or wings. Or drinking all my points.
I also need to conquer the fear I have of spiraling. I don't want to be afraid of a cheeseburger. Like it's the one hit that will lead to dark alleys snarfing down Ben & Jerry's behind dumpsters. I ate it. I didn't want another one. I moved on. Sunday was another day.
I still haven't hit my 5% goal- but I'm thinking soon. I like this 5% goal stuff. With so much to lose, I know it's going to take awhile. The mini goal stuff at least makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Or at least that it's not impossible.
Matt, the leader, talked about teeny tiny losses- as if he were speaking to me directly. And even though I wish it were going faster, I have to say I'll take the .8 pound a week I've been losing. Especially if can go to parties, have some wine and enjoy a cheeseburger from time to time. If I can make it through the holidays and actually lose a few pounds, then I have no doubt that I can breeze through the spring.
So the scale dropped a little more. It motivated me just a little more. And I keep on going.
I as stunned because Saturday night, late, my husband and I decided to go get In N Out Burgers. It's been a really long time since we'd done that, late at night. And might I say, it tasted good.
But here's what I'm learning at Weight Watchers-- it's okay. It's not okay if I do it every day. But once, was fine. And I didn't feel guilty. I really don't want this be a diet and passing on it, would have felt like dieting. We went to 2 parties over the weekend and I had one drink at each and stuck with the veggies. Clearly it was worth it. I got to eat what I really wanted- the burger- rather than simply noshing on things I didn't like because they were there- like the meatballs or wings. Or drinking all my points.
I also need to conquer the fear I have of spiraling. I don't want to be afraid of a cheeseburger. Like it's the one hit that will lead to dark alleys snarfing down Ben & Jerry's behind dumpsters. I ate it. I didn't want another one. I moved on. Sunday was another day.
I still haven't hit my 5% goal- but I'm thinking soon. I like this 5% goal stuff. With so much to lose, I know it's going to take awhile. The mini goal stuff at least makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Or at least that it's not impossible.
Matt, the leader, talked about teeny tiny losses- as if he were speaking to me directly. And even though I wish it were going faster, I have to say I'll take the .8 pound a week I've been losing. Especially if can go to parties, have some wine and enjoy a cheeseburger from time to time. If I can make it through the holidays and actually lose a few pounds, then I have no doubt that I can breeze through the spring.
So the scale dropped a little more. It motivated me just a little more. And I keep on going.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
And another .2 pounds are gone... jealous?!?!
Yes, I lost a whopping .2 lbs.
Amazing.
Astounding.
Holy crap this slooooow process is killing me.
I know I could step it up, go all "Biggest Loser" on it, but I really, really, really don't want this weight to ever come back.
Ever.
I could totally go all Type A, knock off 20 (or so I think) and I will be crabby and gain it all back the second I take my eye off the prize.
So little teeny, tiny losses every week. This month-- I lost 2 pounds.
I know. Can't you see it in my.... wrists?
My clothes are looser, despite the minimal losses. My heart rate monitor says my cardio fitness is improving. All good stuff.
I just have to stay focused. Every half pound adds up.
Or quarter pound as the case may be!
And to be honest, I'll take a .2 pound loss Thanksgiving week.
I keep telling myself if I can just stay even over the holidays, it technically counts as a 7 pound loss since the average American supposedly gains 7 pounds over the holidays.
But I would be lying if I didn't have bigger hopes for my birthday in January. I had hoped to be 25 lbs down-- not unrealistic for 5 months. It's not looking so good.
The other issue that I have is that I'm getting hungry at night. I've increased my exercise and now I'm hungry. I can eat as much fruit as I want per Weight Watchers-- but what I want is crap late at night. So I'm working on that.
I'm working on a lot of things.
If it seems like this random mind fart goes back and forth between positive and negative, it's because it does.
I'm happy that I'm sticking with it. I'm happy that in 12 weeks, I've only had 1 week with a gain (.2-- not much at all) and 3 weeks of staying even.
I'm frustrated that all of this tracking and measuring and monitoring isn't making a bigger, faster impact.
Here's to another 12 weeks.... and if I'm "only" down 8 more pounds, well, that's 16 total. And 12 more weeks... 24 pounds and another 12 weeks 32... and so on and so on and so on.
Amazing.
Astounding.
Holy crap this slooooow process is killing me.
I know I could step it up, go all "Biggest Loser" on it, but I really, really, really don't want this weight to ever come back.
Ever.
I could totally go all Type A, knock off 20 (or so I think) and I will be crabby and gain it all back the second I take my eye off the prize.
So little teeny, tiny losses every week. This month-- I lost 2 pounds.
I know. Can't you see it in my.... wrists?
My clothes are looser, despite the minimal losses. My heart rate monitor says my cardio fitness is improving. All good stuff.
I just have to stay focused. Every half pound adds up.
Or quarter pound as the case may be!
And to be honest, I'll take a .2 pound loss Thanksgiving week.
I keep telling myself if I can just stay even over the holidays, it technically counts as a 7 pound loss since the average American supposedly gains 7 pounds over the holidays.
But I would be lying if I didn't have bigger hopes for my birthday in January. I had hoped to be 25 lbs down-- not unrealistic for 5 months. It's not looking so good.
The other issue that I have is that I'm getting hungry at night. I've increased my exercise and now I'm hungry. I can eat as much fruit as I want per Weight Watchers-- but what I want is crap late at night. So I'm working on that.
I'm working on a lot of things.
If it seems like this random mind fart goes back and forth between positive and negative, it's because it does.
I'm happy that I'm sticking with it. I'm happy that in 12 weeks, I've only had 1 week with a gain (.2-- not much at all) and 3 weeks of staying even.
I'm frustrated that all of this tracking and measuring and monitoring isn't making a bigger, faster impact.
Here's to another 12 weeks.... and if I'm "only" down 8 more pounds, well, that's 16 total. And 12 more weeks... 24 pounds and another 12 weeks 32... and so on and so on and so on.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
More random thoughts
So while I didn't pig out on Thanksgiving, I definitely exceeded my daily allowance of WW points. I'm okay with that. I started the day putting in the turkey, getting most everything ready and then I did an hour of Zumba and an hour of spin. Thank goodness I was meeting friends at the gym, because I would have easily blown it off!
I thought it was interesting- nearly everyone in my family, as I had thought would happen, ate in moderation. When I passed on the pie (more on that in a minute), no one said a word. Even my nephew is turning into Mr. Buff! It was nice.
As for the pie, someone took home the extra pumpkin.... so I ended up buying one today!! It just didn't seem right to have a Thanksgiving weekend without any pumpkin pie!!
Yesterday, I had my leftover dinner and I probably could have scaled back a bit on it. I used up my extra Weight Watcher points and even dipped into my exercise points allowance. Oops. That's a lot of eating. And to be honest, I don't think I actually got everything that i ate. I think starting on Monday, I'm going to have to start measuring. It could have been worse or maybe not quite so bad-- I have no idea. And most of the extra points went to alcohol.
Today it took a lot to get me to go to a spin class. I wasn't feeling it. Not even a little. I went. I wear a heart rate monitor, so I know when I'm pushing it. I was most definitely not pushing it.
And my mind started to wonder.
I was really jealous of the fit people on the treadmills. They weren't killing it. They were maintaing.
I can not wait until I'm maintaining.
As I've said, I'm taking this very slowly on purpose. Little changes.
But for fitness the thing is, the more you do, the more youhave to push to get the same results. That's what's happening. If I want to keep each hour of exercise to 500-600 calories burned, I'm going to have to keep pushing.
And I just want to be maintaining. It looks like a lot less work.
So I was tired, stuffed, a little whiny and not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in.
Here we are 3 months into it. I'm getting bored. This is where I have to push through.
I would really like to hit at least 10 pounds lost before the holidays!! I am okay with slow, but this seems irritatingly so. I keep wondering how all these people lost 60 pounds in 6 months. I'm nowhere close to making that happen.
I think I might end up blogging a bit more to get over the hump. I can do this. I will do this. I'm committed to a year of this- tracking, pushing the exercise, blogging... and then, we'll see. It'll be what it is.
And that's all I've got today.
I thought it was interesting- nearly everyone in my family, as I had thought would happen, ate in moderation. When I passed on the pie (more on that in a minute), no one said a word. Even my nephew is turning into Mr. Buff! It was nice.
As for the pie, someone took home the extra pumpkin.... so I ended up buying one today!! It just didn't seem right to have a Thanksgiving weekend without any pumpkin pie!!
Yesterday, I had my leftover dinner and I probably could have scaled back a bit on it. I used up my extra Weight Watcher points and even dipped into my exercise points allowance. Oops. That's a lot of eating. And to be honest, I don't think I actually got everything that i ate. I think starting on Monday, I'm going to have to start measuring. It could have been worse or maybe not quite so bad-- I have no idea. And most of the extra points went to alcohol.
Today it took a lot to get me to go to a spin class. I wasn't feeling it. Not even a little. I went. I wear a heart rate monitor, so I know when I'm pushing it. I was most definitely not pushing it.
And my mind started to wonder.
I was really jealous of the fit people on the treadmills. They weren't killing it. They were maintaing.
I can not wait until I'm maintaining.
As I've said, I'm taking this very slowly on purpose. Little changes.
But for fitness the thing is, the more you do, the more youhave to push to get the same results. That's what's happening. If I want to keep each hour of exercise to 500-600 calories burned, I'm going to have to keep pushing.
And I just want to be maintaining. It looks like a lot less work.
So I was tired, stuffed, a little whiny and not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in.
Here we are 3 months into it. I'm getting bored. This is where I have to push through.
I would really like to hit at least 10 pounds lost before the holidays!! I am okay with slow, but this seems irritatingly so. I keep wondering how all these people lost 60 pounds in 6 months. I'm nowhere close to making that happen.
I think I might end up blogging a bit more to get over the hump. I can do this. I will do this. I'm committed to a year of this- tracking, pushing the exercise, blogging... and then, we'll see. It'll be what it is.
And that's all I've got today.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Power of Friends
So this week the scale stuck, but I ate before weighed in which I
normally don't do. Not to make excuses, but with tiny movements on the
scale week to week, every little bit matters.
Anyhow, this week was all about Thanksgiving (I'm anticipating a 62 point meal- 29 points a day is my norm. If I stay within the my points all week, I should be good). Our meeting leader also discussed how to deal with food pushers-- the people who are constantly telling you to take another bite, have another drink, etc, etc.
As he spoke, I immediately thought of people I had known over the years that clearly fit the bill. My favorite was a former colleague who was drop dead gorgeous. I had lost 30 pounds in between the kids and her response (in a whiny tone) "If you lose weight then you'll be smart AND pretty and that's not fair!"
Great. Way to have my back, sister.
But now, it's very different. My mother-in-law has recently lost a large amount of weight (I don't know if she wants me to share how much!). My husband has lost 125 pounds and is still going strong. Three of my best girlfriends- Shelley, Ellen and Lisa are going to Weight Watcher's meetings now with me. At work, my assistant with the evil supercharged metabolism is supportive. My office mate is supportive- she is a stick, but her husband has lost about 50 pounds this past year. In my book group, quite a few women are WW devotees and have lost a lot of weight and kept it off.
In fact, I cannot think of anyone who doesn't support me.
I think I know more people who have gotten fit, lost weight or are in the process in the past 2 years than I ever have in my life.
I know Americans are supposedly getting fatter, but around me everyone is shrinking. Even better, these friends are being incredibly supportive.
A good friend I saw last week tried to get me to have a glass of wine last week when we went out, then stopped herself and said "I'm sorry. I know you're being good. Good for you!"
Much better than my former colleague.
My husband and I have had issues when one of us is committed and the other isn't - we now joke about it. One of us will say "Want some ice cream?" The other responds "No..." The non-dieter says "C'mon..." and the other eventually caves. Not any longer. No dieting, just changing habits. Together.
I have no intention of scaling back on Thanksgiving. I added up the points already. It's a lot. If this is truly NOT a diet, then Thanksgiving is not going to scare me. I am going to eat more than I normally would. Period. I love this holiday. I love all the food. It is one day. I will have wine. I will have pie. I will love every bite.
What I won't do is have seconds. Or thirds. I won't continue to eat like every day is a holiday all weekend.
What's even better is that I can count on my friends and family to back me up on my choices.
Anyhow, this week was all about Thanksgiving (I'm anticipating a 62 point meal- 29 points a day is my norm. If I stay within the my points all week, I should be good). Our meeting leader also discussed how to deal with food pushers-- the people who are constantly telling you to take another bite, have another drink, etc, etc.
As he spoke, I immediately thought of people I had known over the years that clearly fit the bill. My favorite was a former colleague who was drop dead gorgeous. I had lost 30 pounds in between the kids and her response (in a whiny tone) "If you lose weight then you'll be smart AND pretty and that's not fair!"
Great. Way to have my back, sister.
But now, it's very different. My mother-in-law has recently lost a large amount of weight (I don't know if she wants me to share how much!). My husband has lost 125 pounds and is still going strong. Three of my best girlfriends- Shelley, Ellen and Lisa are going to Weight Watcher's meetings now with me. At work, my assistant with the evil supercharged metabolism is supportive. My office mate is supportive- she is a stick, but her husband has lost about 50 pounds this past year. In my book group, quite a few women are WW devotees and have lost a lot of weight and kept it off.
In fact, I cannot think of anyone who doesn't support me.
I think I know more people who have gotten fit, lost weight or are in the process in the past 2 years than I ever have in my life.
I know Americans are supposedly getting fatter, but around me everyone is shrinking. Even better, these friends are being incredibly supportive.
A good friend I saw last week tried to get me to have a glass of wine last week when we went out, then stopped herself and said "I'm sorry. I know you're being good. Good for you!"
Much better than my former colleague.
My husband and I have had issues when one of us is committed and the other isn't - we now joke about it. One of us will say "Want some ice cream?" The other responds "No..." The non-dieter says "C'mon..." and the other eventually caves. Not any longer. No dieting, just changing habits. Together.
I have no intention of scaling back on Thanksgiving. I added up the points already. It's a lot. If this is truly NOT a diet, then Thanksgiving is not going to scare me. I am going to eat more than I normally would. Period. I love this holiday. I love all the food. It is one day. I will have wine. I will have pie. I will love every bite.
What I won't do is have seconds. Or thirds. I won't continue to eat like every day is a holiday all weekend.
What's even better is that I can count on my friends and family to back me up on my choices.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
"Don't Let a Lapse Become a Collapse"
Don't let a lapse become a collapse- that was the catchphrase that I picked up from today's meeting. I thought it was pretty good considering the last few weeks have been a little bumpy. I've had a few "Well, I've already started, why not throw in the towel...." moments. And I haven't. While every day hasn't been pretty, I've tracked it all. Even the Halloween candy. All of it.
This week I was down 1.2 lbs. Not bad. Got rid of the pesky .2 I gained last week, plus another pound. And my lovely "special time" started last night, so to be honest, I'm surprised I was down anything.
I put on an outfit that I wear regularly and I have to say, it was really loose. I started tracking my waist measurement as well since the scale is moving oh so slowly.
I was really happy last Monday when I went to Zumba and one of my back row buddies said "Girl, this is really working for you!" Made my day.
I would be lying if I said this was getting easier. I'm at that three month lull. I thought I would be down much more-- 7.8 pounds in 11 weeks is disappointing to me. I know it's a loss, and I'm happy I've lost it, but still.... I was hoping for something closer to 20-- after all, that's still less than 2 pounds a week. It's tiring. I am committed to this for a year. After a year, I'll re-evaluate my goals. If I'm happy where I am, I'll take a break and focus on maintaining wherever I am. If I'm not but not exhausted with the process, I'll keep at it. I will most definitely keep going to the meetings at least once a month so I don't gain anything back. It really does seem to be the key.
I still get annoyed when people offer me "tips"- like how I should not drink soda or fast food. I guess if I had a fast food bag in my hand or a soda when they offered this information, it might be useful to know. Since I actually can't stand soda and eat fast food about once a month, it's really not particularly useful (or solicited) advice. Or that I should take my work-out's up a notch. Sure. That would be great. It's not like I'm coming off 2 years of back pain and am carrying 80 extra pounds. Yep, training for a marathon right now would be GREAT. I'm sure I wouldn't get hurt, burn out or become completely discouraged at ALL. I want to slap them all and say "You know, what I'm doing is actual working. It's slow, but it is working."
I'm eating healthy foods. I'm conscience of what I'm eating. I'm gradually adding in exercise at a level that makes sense for someone of my size and current fitness level. And I am absolutely going to keep using Weight Watchers because every study shows it works and it is working for me.
I try to watch "The Biggest Loser" but honestly, it's demotivating to me. I don't have 3-6 months to exclusively focus on losing weight. It's a piece of the pie of my life. I need to come up with really simple, easy things I can do and will stick with. I am taking a very different approach this time. Because it's going to be my last time losing weight. Ever.
The little losses add up. Just when I'm really getting frustrated, something fits a little looser. Someone notices.
Having my friend Ellen showing up every week at the meetings is a big thing, too. I've tried to work out with friends or diet with friends in the past and it never works. I always assumed it wouldn't matter anyhow because my commitment was the big deal. I have to say, having her there, sharing ideas, is making a HUGE difference.
So that's where I'm at this week. Still trucking along. Not terribly enthusiastic this week, but still fully committed.
I will do this.
This week I was down 1.2 lbs. Not bad. Got rid of the pesky .2 I gained last week, plus another pound. And my lovely "special time" started last night, so to be honest, I'm surprised I was down anything.
I put on an outfit that I wear regularly and I have to say, it was really loose. I started tracking my waist measurement as well since the scale is moving oh so slowly.
I was really happy last Monday when I went to Zumba and one of my back row buddies said "Girl, this is really working for you!" Made my day.
I would be lying if I said this was getting easier. I'm at that three month lull. I thought I would be down much more-- 7.8 pounds in 11 weeks is disappointing to me. I know it's a loss, and I'm happy I've lost it, but still.... I was hoping for something closer to 20-- after all, that's still less than 2 pounds a week. It's tiring. I am committed to this for a year. After a year, I'll re-evaluate my goals. If I'm happy where I am, I'll take a break and focus on maintaining wherever I am. If I'm not but not exhausted with the process, I'll keep at it. I will most definitely keep going to the meetings at least once a month so I don't gain anything back. It really does seem to be the key.
I still get annoyed when people offer me "tips"- like how I should not drink soda or fast food. I guess if I had a fast food bag in my hand or a soda when they offered this information, it might be useful to know. Since I actually can't stand soda and eat fast food about once a month, it's really not particularly useful (or solicited) advice. Or that I should take my work-out's up a notch. Sure. That would be great. It's not like I'm coming off 2 years of back pain and am carrying 80 extra pounds. Yep, training for a marathon right now would be GREAT. I'm sure I wouldn't get hurt, burn out or become completely discouraged at ALL. I want to slap them all and say "You know, what I'm doing is actual working. It's slow, but it is working."
I'm eating healthy foods. I'm conscience of what I'm eating. I'm gradually adding in exercise at a level that makes sense for someone of my size and current fitness level. And I am absolutely going to keep using Weight Watchers because every study shows it works and it is working for me.
I try to watch "The Biggest Loser" but honestly, it's demotivating to me. I don't have 3-6 months to exclusively focus on losing weight. It's a piece of the pie of my life. I need to come up with really simple, easy things I can do and will stick with. I am taking a very different approach this time. Because it's going to be my last time losing weight. Ever.
The little losses add up. Just when I'm really getting frustrated, something fits a little looser. Someone notices.
Having my friend Ellen showing up every week at the meetings is a big thing, too. I've tried to work out with friends or diet with friends in the past and it never works. I always assumed it wouldn't matter anyhow because my commitment was the big deal. I have to say, having her there, sharing ideas, is making a HUGE difference.
So that's where I'm at this week. Still trucking along. Not terribly enthusiastic this week, but still fully committed.
I will do this.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Oops- You Mean Every Day Means EVERY Day?
Apparently I misunderstood when I joined Weight Watchers. Although they kept saying "Don't dial it in," "Follow the program to a tee, " "If you bite it, write it," those bastards meant it.
And today's meeting was for me and my friend Ellen. It was about staying on course when it's not going so well.
We both had a gain this week.
Rats. My first one.
Oddly, this was the first week I started to notice that my clothes were fitting more loosely. I would also like to add that Ellen is looking great. She's been diligent about the gym. I added a spin class this week.
Oh and I ate like a pig.
I "technically" stayed in my point range. At WW's they give you 49 points to spread over the course of the week, so if you're hungry, you eat. If you have a party, you can eat a piece of cake. It's quite brilliant. It takes away the sense of deprivation. If you exercise, you can add points and then it will let you "use" more points. It defeats the point of exercising in a way, but it DID get me to spin class. It was Saturday, we had a few parties to go to, I needed some extra points!
Lesson learned this week: Follow the program.
Sigh.
I also have been a bit lucky the past few weeks. With all our festivities I still pulled out losses. So I got a little cocky and I pushed it.
I deserved the .2 pounds that I gained. My weekly average loss is down to .6. At this rate, I might get to my goal in 2 years.
And SPARE me the platitudes about how it will really stay off.... yes, I know that. I have no intention of spending the next year making all these positive changes to gain it back. But I was hoping it would only be a year, not 2. I don't want it to feel like a diet, but I think if I want to get serious, I might want to be a bit more focused.
On a positive note, I bought a t-shirt this summer a size smaller than I normally get. I wasn't sure what size my boobs would end up (I had reduction surgery in June). Sadly, the sleeves and the mid-section were a little snug. I've been sleeping in it because it was a bit too tight to wear out. On Monday I had it on and realized that it fit.
Also my "weigh-in" pants are really baggy. I've been to this point before with these same pants. Which brings me to my next question for the audience...
A friend of mine is getting married next November. There is a J Crew dress I have been dreaming of for years. Do I buy it in a size 8 and hang it in my closet? Will it motivate or mock me? I've never done anything like this before because I've always feared that I would waste my money. In other words, I've never had faith I would get there. At .6 pounds a week, I won't. Has anyone done this? Has it worked? My friend is someone that I "met" quite a few years ago on Spark People and actually have met her in person. Our table will be all sparkers-- and I'm not the only one using her wedding as a motivator. She's completely fine that we're stealing her special day as a weight loss goal since that's how we all met.
Please comment!! I'm curious what everyone thinks!
And today's meeting was for me and my friend Ellen. It was about staying on course when it's not going so well.
We both had a gain this week.
Rats. My first one.
Oddly, this was the first week I started to notice that my clothes were fitting more loosely. I would also like to add that Ellen is looking great. She's been diligent about the gym. I added a spin class this week.
Oh and I ate like a pig.
I "technically" stayed in my point range. At WW's they give you 49 points to spread over the course of the week, so if you're hungry, you eat. If you have a party, you can eat a piece of cake. It's quite brilliant. It takes away the sense of deprivation. If you exercise, you can add points and then it will let you "use" more points. It defeats the point of exercising in a way, but it DID get me to spin class. It was Saturday, we had a few parties to go to, I needed some extra points!
Lesson learned this week: Follow the program.
Sigh.
I also have been a bit lucky the past few weeks. With all our festivities I still pulled out losses. So I got a little cocky and I pushed it.
I deserved the .2 pounds that I gained. My weekly average loss is down to .6. At this rate, I might get to my goal in 2 years.
And SPARE me the platitudes about how it will really stay off.... yes, I know that. I have no intention of spending the next year making all these positive changes to gain it back. But I was hoping it would only be a year, not 2. I don't want it to feel like a diet, but I think if I want to get serious, I might want to be a bit more focused.
On a positive note, I bought a t-shirt this summer a size smaller than I normally get. I wasn't sure what size my boobs would end up (I had reduction surgery in June). Sadly, the sleeves and the mid-section were a little snug. I've been sleeping in it because it was a bit too tight to wear out. On Monday I had it on and realized that it fit.
Also my "weigh-in" pants are really baggy. I've been to this point before with these same pants. Which brings me to my next question for the audience...
A friend of mine is getting married next November. There is a J Crew dress I have been dreaming of for years. Do I buy it in a size 8 and hang it in my closet? Will it motivate or mock me? I've never done anything like this before because I've always feared that I would waste my money. In other words, I've never had faith I would get there. At .6 pounds a week, I won't. Has anyone done this? Has it worked? My friend is someone that I "met" quite a few years ago on Spark People and actually have met her in person. Our table will be all sparkers-- and I'm not the only one using her wedding as a motivator. She's completely fine that we're stealing her special day as a weight loss goal since that's how we all met.
Please comment!! I'm curious what everyone thinks!
Monday, October 24, 2011
REPOST: Zumba
This is a repost from my primary blog "Mama Bean's World" from last week.
I went to my second Zumba class today. Wow. It is way too much fun.
For those of you that are following my secondary weight loss blog, you are probably aware that this time on my quest to lose weight, I decided to only do exercise that I like. This isn't too terribly difficult, as I like pretty much everything. But this time, I'm raising the bar. I don't mind working out, but I wasn't loving it. Every time I went to the gym it was a reminder on how much I had let myself go. Working out used to be a great stress reliever. I could feel my muscles grow stronger every time. Now, I can't even find my muscles beneath the layers of fat.
So no more cross training. No more weights. No more treadmill. For now. When I'm at a point where I'm trying to get fit, I will add those back in. Right now, I'm just trying to get to fat.
Seriously.
I have 21 pounds to lose to be "just" fat.
I will be the happiest fat person in the world once I get there. Or as I will refer to myself- non-obese person.
What a sad goal- to be fat.
But alas, it's where I"m at right now and I'm okay with that.
So rather than look at this next year as a giant mountain to climb, I decided to dance up it. I just had some cookies, too. What I didn't do was eat a dozen. I had some. Last week I had ice cream. Tonight, I will have a glass of wine at my book club.
And every week, I have lost a pound.
And every week I've only done things that I liked.
Now I'm sure if I really put my mind to it, like the folks on "The Biggest Loser" or "I Used to Be Fat" I could get most of this weight off much more quickly. Trust me, it would find me again.
I have very intentionally decided to do this sloooooooowly. With fun and a little flair.
So today I shook my booty. The hard part isn't to shake it. The hard part is to get it to stop shaking. And as I was gettin' down with my funky self, I noticed the treadmills. The people on them looked like drones. Not the runners-- but the walkers. They were my size or bigger. Headsets on. Eyes glazed. Trudging through life.
I wanted to tell them "You're not going to stick with it. Trust me. Might as well have some fun."
I'm not by any means the biggest or the most uncoordinated person in the class. I don't even think there's a profile for the class. I may even be on the younger end. I'm not sure. There's a wide range of ethnicities, too. There's a gentlemen who must be in his late 70's-- he rocks.
It's all very motivating. Dancing doesn't discriminate.
The older women who have adopted me in the back row, keep me going. I keep them laughing. It's nice.
According to my heart rate monitor, my cardio health is improving. According to my scale, I'm losing weight. According to my smile, I am having fun.
And that's what it's all about, isn't it?
I went to my second Zumba class today. Wow. It is way too much fun.
For those of you that are following my secondary weight loss blog, you are probably aware that this time on my quest to lose weight, I decided to only do exercise that I like. This isn't too terribly difficult, as I like pretty much everything. But this time, I'm raising the bar. I don't mind working out, but I wasn't loving it. Every time I went to the gym it was a reminder on how much I had let myself go. Working out used to be a great stress reliever. I could feel my muscles grow stronger every time. Now, I can't even find my muscles beneath the layers of fat.
So no more cross training. No more weights. No more treadmill. For now. When I'm at a point where I'm trying to get fit, I will add those back in. Right now, I'm just trying to get to fat.
Seriously.
I have 21 pounds to lose to be "just" fat.
I will be the happiest fat person in the world once I get there. Or as I will refer to myself- non-obese person.
What a sad goal- to be fat.
But alas, it's where I"m at right now and I'm okay with that.
So rather than look at this next year as a giant mountain to climb, I decided to dance up it. I just had some cookies, too. What I didn't do was eat a dozen. I had some. Last week I had ice cream. Tonight, I will have a glass of wine at my book club.
And every week, I have lost a pound.
And every week I've only done things that I liked.
Now I'm sure if I really put my mind to it, like the folks on "The Biggest Loser" or "I Used to Be Fat" I could get most of this weight off much more quickly. Trust me, it would find me again.
I have very intentionally decided to do this sloooooooowly. With fun and a little flair.
So today I shook my booty. The hard part isn't to shake it. The hard part is to get it to stop shaking. And as I was gettin' down with my funky self, I noticed the treadmills. The people on them looked like drones. Not the runners-- but the walkers. They were my size or bigger. Headsets on. Eyes glazed. Trudging through life.
I wanted to tell them "You're not going to stick with it. Trust me. Might as well have some fun."
I'm not by any means the biggest or the most uncoordinated person in the class. I don't even think there's a profile for the class. I may even be on the younger end. I'm not sure. There's a wide range of ethnicities, too. There's a gentlemen who must be in his late 70's-- he rocks.
It's all very motivating. Dancing doesn't discriminate.
The older women who have adopted me in the back row, keep me going. I keep them laughing. It's nice.
According to my heart rate monitor, my cardio health is improving. According to my scale, I'm losing weight. According to my smile, I am having fun.
And that's what it's all about, isn't it?
Excited about .2 pounds lost
So I've been bitching about only losing a pound a week. This week I lost .2 pounds.
And I am very happy about it.
You see, in the past 2 weeks, we celebrated our 10 year anniversary, my husband's 40th birthday and I had a client picnic.
Lotsa food.
During that same time period I made good choices, had some fun and still managed to lost weight. It didn't feel like I was dieting. It felt like I was done being fat.
Not bad.
When I weighed in, Matt, our group leader, gave me a hug when I was happy about my minimal loss. And I am. Normally I would have thrown in the towel. I'm going on 2 months and have only lost 7 pounds. And I'm still not quitting. You know what? In a year it's going to be 40-50 pounds. Heck, by my birthday in January, it will be 15-20 pounds.
I went to Zumba today and overdid it a bit. I'm starting to learn the moves and may have been slightly overly enthusiastic. Everyone says it works "your core." I don't have a core. I have an ooey gooey center.
Saturday I'm adding spin back into my life. Wish me luck on that....
Nothing funny. Nothing witty. I'm just trucking along. Doing my thing. Losing a few pounds along the way.
And I am very happy about it.
You see, in the past 2 weeks, we celebrated our 10 year anniversary, my husband's 40th birthday and I had a client picnic.
Lotsa food.
During that same time period I made good choices, had some fun and still managed to lost weight. It didn't feel like I was dieting. It felt like I was done being fat.
Not bad.
When I weighed in, Matt, our group leader, gave me a hug when I was happy about my minimal loss. And I am. Normally I would have thrown in the towel. I'm going on 2 months and have only lost 7 pounds. And I'm still not quitting. You know what? In a year it's going to be 40-50 pounds. Heck, by my birthday in January, it will be 15-20 pounds.
I went to Zumba today and overdid it a bit. I'm starting to learn the moves and may have been slightly overly enthusiastic. Everyone says it works "your core." I don't have a core. I have an ooey gooey center.
Saturday I'm adding spin back into my life. Wish me luck on that....
Nothing funny. Nothing witty. I'm just trucking along. Doing my thing. Losing a few pounds along the way.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
90% is not good enough
I had an aha moment this week.
90% is not good enough.
If you've hung out with me you know that I eat fairly healthy. We always have fruit, not a lot of snacks. I cook. I don't eat much red meat. I love fish. We ride bikes. I walk the dog. I pack my lunch- usually salads. While I couldn't survive Jillian of the Biggest Loser raiding our pantry, I think most people would be surprised if they saw what I ate.
Most of the time.
I have a huge late night snacking issue. Blogging and playing Scrabble help with that.
But as I've been tracking everything I eat ("If you bite it, write it"), it hit me. That 10% that I'm not good has really blown it for me. This past week was my husband's birthday. I really, really, really wanted a margarita and a chimichanga. When I looked up the points, it would have far exceeded my amount for the week-- especially since I had some cake.
And one bad night would have been normal for me. We usually go out 1-2 times a week. At least one of those times, I indulge. That's my 10%. Or maybe I have a blizzard. Or a doughnut or two.
That once a week was really destroying the hard work of the other 90%. When I saw 7 weeks work of tracking, it really hit me- the only reason I've been doing well, is because I'm sticking with it 100%, not 90%.
Now 90% might cut it if I was already thin-- I haven't really gained any weight in the past 2 years. If I want to lose, I have to stick with it 100%.
I was talking to my assistant today about it-- she is my age, skinny and eats crap. She is a metabolic wunderkind. Pisses me off.
But as we were laughing about my Armageddon proof metabolism, I said I was just going to focus on the fact that I needed to look at it as only having 44 more Sunday's to weigh in or 44 more date nights to pass on drinks and dessert. That's feasible. I've already made it through 7.
That 10% has really done a number on all my efforts.
During my second meeting at Weight Watchers, Matt mentioned something about doing the program 100%- not our own personal versions of it. I thought "Who would pay to do it half-assed? Of course I'm going to do it 100%." When I tried this on my own, I was happy with 90% because I didn't have a plan. Now I have a plan. My "version" is to have fun doing it-- and I have been.
I know I will make mistakes. I know that I'm not going to worry on Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'll be careful, I'll track it, but I'm not going to worry if I go over. But the rest of the time, I'm shooting for 100%. No more pretending every week is a holiday. Our anniversary is this Thursday- we're going out with the kids on Thursday and then out for a "big people" dinner on Saturday. And I'm going to stick with it. The best gift I can give my husband is a long healthy life. This really is a lifestyle change- all the time, every day. Not a diet.
So that's all I've got today on my quest.
90% is not good enough.
If you've hung out with me you know that I eat fairly healthy. We always have fruit, not a lot of snacks. I cook. I don't eat much red meat. I love fish. We ride bikes. I walk the dog. I pack my lunch- usually salads. While I couldn't survive Jillian of the Biggest Loser raiding our pantry, I think most people would be surprised if they saw what I ate.
Most of the time.
I have a huge late night snacking issue. Blogging and playing Scrabble help with that.
But as I've been tracking everything I eat ("If you bite it, write it"), it hit me. That 10% that I'm not good has really blown it for me. This past week was my husband's birthday. I really, really, really wanted a margarita and a chimichanga. When I looked up the points, it would have far exceeded my amount for the week-- especially since I had some cake.
And one bad night would have been normal for me. We usually go out 1-2 times a week. At least one of those times, I indulge. That's my 10%. Or maybe I have a blizzard. Or a doughnut or two.
That once a week was really destroying the hard work of the other 90%. When I saw 7 weeks work of tracking, it really hit me- the only reason I've been doing well, is because I'm sticking with it 100%, not 90%.
Now 90% might cut it if I was already thin-- I haven't really gained any weight in the past 2 years. If I want to lose, I have to stick with it 100%.
I was talking to my assistant today about it-- she is my age, skinny and eats crap. She is a metabolic wunderkind. Pisses me off.
But as we were laughing about my Armageddon proof metabolism, I said I was just going to focus on the fact that I needed to look at it as only having 44 more Sunday's to weigh in or 44 more date nights to pass on drinks and dessert. That's feasible. I've already made it through 7.
That 10% has really done a number on all my efforts.
During my second meeting at Weight Watchers, Matt mentioned something about doing the program 100%- not our own personal versions of it. I thought "Who would pay to do it half-assed? Of course I'm going to do it 100%." When I tried this on my own, I was happy with 90% because I didn't have a plan. Now I have a plan. My "version" is to have fun doing it-- and I have been.
I know I will make mistakes. I know that I'm not going to worry on Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'll be careful, I'll track it, but I'm not going to worry if I go over. But the rest of the time, I'm shooting for 100%. No more pretending every week is a holiday. Our anniversary is this Thursday- we're going out with the kids on Thursday and then out for a "big people" dinner on Saturday. And I'm going to stick with it. The best gift I can give my husband is a long healthy life. This really is a lifestyle change- all the time, every day. Not a diet.
So that's all I've got today on my quest.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I Sparkle
Well, one more week down and one more pound gone.
Seriously.
A pound a week.
Just like the manual.
And IT STILL SUCKS.
I happily awaited the magic weight loss fairies last night and they didn't come.
Sigh.
This past week though, I made it through my husband's birthday (cake and ice cream, dinner out at a Mexican restaurant), his birthday night out (beer and wings), and the kids' fall festival (cake walk, bake sale...).
And I was good.
I had 2 pieces of cake throughout the week. Not bad. We even threw out the leftover (yeah us!).
I had a small scoop of ice cream when I did have cake (I like to have a little cake with my ice cream, so a small scoop is a big deal...it was a big switch).
When we went out to dinner on his birthday, I looked up some options and didn't freak when Fish Tacos weren't on the menu. I watched the numbers of chips I ate. I passed on the margarita.
We didn't eat at the festival. I donated a bunch of cakes, so I felt like we had contributed more than enough.
When we did our grown up night out with some friends, I had "naked" tenders- not wings and drank a Michelob Ultra.
All in all, not too bad.
I adjusted.
I went out.
I still had fun.
And there's still a part of me that wanted a GIANT margarita and chimichanga. Just not quite yet.
I guess a one pound loss, was not too bad a deal.
Today, when we walked out of our meeting, my friend Ellen and I were approached by one of the VP's of the local Weight Watcher's. She asked us if we would like to talk on camera about Matt, our meetings, Weight Watchers, etc. They were doing an internal video for WW for their local innovations awards or something. So we said sure.
Ellen did her bit- talked about how simple the program is to follow (she just hit her 5% goal today- WOO HOO!!). Then they asked me to talk about the meetings.
I said "Well, I actually blog about it...."
So I explained that having Matt as a team leader meant that I had a skinny Greek guy on my shoulder all week asking "Do you LOVE it?" when I would eat. I had her cracking up.
She stopped filming for a second and said "Do you know you sparkle on camera?"
I laughed. I actually had been told from a local news team that I give "good video." I even have done a few training videos for our corporate office. So yes, I had been told that before. But not in awhile. And I really hadn't felt "sparkly" for a long time.
She talked to me afterward about my positive attitude.
Again, hadn't heard that in awhile.
But it's true. I am positive. My back doesn't hurt. I feel in control. The meetings are making all the difference. And most important- the fact that my friend Ellen is going with me is a huge deal. While I'm making friends at the meetings (because I could make friends at a prison-- funny story about that...), it's nice to have my friend there, going through the same thing.
So I sparkle.
And I lost a pound.
Yeah me!
Seriously.
A pound a week.
Just like the manual.
And IT STILL SUCKS.
I happily awaited the magic weight loss fairies last night and they didn't come.
Sigh.
This past week though, I made it through my husband's birthday (cake and ice cream, dinner out at a Mexican restaurant), his birthday night out (beer and wings), and the kids' fall festival (cake walk, bake sale...).
And I was good.
I had 2 pieces of cake throughout the week. Not bad. We even threw out the leftover (yeah us!).
I had a small scoop of ice cream when I did have cake (I like to have a little cake with my ice cream, so a small scoop is a big deal...it was a big switch).
When we went out to dinner on his birthday, I looked up some options and didn't freak when Fish Tacos weren't on the menu. I watched the numbers of chips I ate. I passed on the margarita.
We didn't eat at the festival. I donated a bunch of cakes, so I felt like we had contributed more than enough.
When we did our grown up night out with some friends, I had "naked" tenders- not wings and drank a Michelob Ultra.
All in all, not too bad.
I adjusted.
I went out.
I still had fun.
And there's still a part of me that wanted a GIANT margarita and chimichanga. Just not quite yet.
I guess a one pound loss, was not too bad a deal.
Today, when we walked out of our meeting, my friend Ellen and I were approached by one of the VP's of the local Weight Watcher's. She asked us if we would like to talk on camera about Matt, our meetings, Weight Watchers, etc. They were doing an internal video for WW for their local innovations awards or something. So we said sure.
Ellen did her bit- talked about how simple the program is to follow (she just hit her 5% goal today- WOO HOO!!). Then they asked me to talk about the meetings.
I said "Well, I actually blog about it...."
So I explained that having Matt as a team leader meant that I had a skinny Greek guy on my shoulder all week asking "Do you LOVE it?" when I would eat. I had her cracking up.
She stopped filming for a second and said "Do you know you sparkle on camera?"
I laughed. I actually had been told from a local news team that I give "good video." I even have done a few training videos for our corporate office. So yes, I had been told that before. But not in awhile. And I really hadn't felt "sparkly" for a long time.
She talked to me afterward about my positive attitude.
Again, hadn't heard that in awhile.
But it's true. I am positive. My back doesn't hurt. I feel in control. The meetings are making all the difference. And most important- the fact that my friend Ellen is going with me is a huge deal. While I'm making friends at the meetings (because I could make friends at a prison-- funny story about that...), it's nice to have my friend there, going through the same thing.
So I sparkle.
And I lost a pound.
Yeah me!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Your McDonald's Cup is a Clue....
Today as I was standing in line to weigh in at Weight Watchers (down another pound- got my 5 pound sticker!! Woohoo!! Down 5.6 pounds!), a mother and son (he looked about 19) were complaining that it just wasn't working.
He was holding a McDonald's cup. No joke.
While I'm sure that the cup probably had Diet Coke in it, I'm also sure that he didn't have a grilled chicken breast with it.
Once again, I, Mama Bean, have solved another mystery.
I am finding that Weight Watchers works really well if I stay within my point range and track my food. In other words, follow the plan. I am not losing 5 pounds a week. I am losing 1 pound a week. Hey, look at that, it's what the book said I would!
Now I'm sure that in a few weeks, I will start to plateau. It will be around Halloween. I know I will want to throw in the towel, but I won't. Not this time.
I didn't get to go to my normal group on Sunday. The woman in today's group was equally as funny and vibrant. It was nice to hear what everyone is doing-- a little different crowd. Good stuff.
As for working out, I missed Zumba today- doctor's appointment, so I will try to squeeze in something this week. It's a light week- I should be able to figure it out!
I'm still amazed that it's working....
He was holding a McDonald's cup. No joke.
While I'm sure that the cup probably had Diet Coke in it, I'm also sure that he didn't have a grilled chicken breast with it.
Once again, I, Mama Bean, have solved another mystery.
I am finding that Weight Watchers works really well if I stay within my point range and track my food. In other words, follow the plan. I am not losing 5 pounds a week. I am losing 1 pound a week. Hey, look at that, it's what the book said I would!
Now I'm sure that in a few weeks, I will start to plateau. It will be around Halloween. I know I will want to throw in the towel, but I won't. Not this time.
I didn't get to go to my normal group on Sunday. The woman in today's group was equally as funny and vibrant. It was nice to hear what everyone is doing-- a little different crowd. Good stuff.
As for working out, I missed Zumba today- doctor's appointment, so I will try to squeeze in something this week. It's a light week- I should be able to figure it out!
I'm still amazed that it's working....
Monday, October 3, 2011
Dr. Oz joins the team!
So Dr. Oz is basically promoting the Weight Watchers plan. Love it. I also like the fact that I have a million dollars being dangled before my eyes. Now THAT might get me to put down the donut for good!
This past week has been a little hectic. I had a business trip thrown in with visiting relatives and every social obligation under the sun. Always difficult.
And I lost pound.
I was stunned.
Not my best week. I ate some candy. I used up my "extra" points. I completely expected to gain weight. I was shocked when she said I was down a pound. I attribute it 100% to the fact that if I was "bad" this week, it would have been worse if hadn't known I was weighing in. It's been a month. This is usually when I throw in the towel. I'm not throwing in the towel. It is not proving to be impossible. That little tiny 1 pound a week loss is really keeping my going. And the meetings that I thought I would hate.
During our meeting, one woman told the story of how she lost 175 pounds over 2 years. WOW. She did it very slowly. She was not a young woman, so I know she wasn't lying. I'm still in awe. This meeting stuff is really working. My friend Ellen lost 2 more pounds and is almost at her 10% loss goal-- also very motivating. Having someone else so enthusiastic that is a friend has really kept me focused.
And a few more updates---
I have added Zumba to my repertory of fitness activities.
Here's my plan:
Every month I will add one more day of exercise per week.
Sounds like I've set the bar really low, I know.
But here's the scoop- I usually go gang busters at the beginning and then get hurt or overwhelmed. Not this time. My new fitness plan is to only do things that I like. I genuinely enjoy working out, but tap dancing and zumba don't even resemble "exercise" to me. Until I get the biggest chunk of weight off and want to focus more on fitness, this is how I'm doing it.
Fun first.
Fitness will follow.
And who knows? Maybe I will win $1,000,000!!!
This past week has been a little hectic. I had a business trip thrown in with visiting relatives and every social obligation under the sun. Always difficult.
And I lost pound.
I was stunned.
Not my best week. I ate some candy. I used up my "extra" points. I completely expected to gain weight. I was shocked when she said I was down a pound. I attribute it 100% to the fact that if I was "bad" this week, it would have been worse if hadn't known I was weighing in. It's been a month. This is usually when I throw in the towel. I'm not throwing in the towel. It is not proving to be impossible. That little tiny 1 pound a week loss is really keeping my going. And the meetings that I thought I would hate.
During our meeting, one woman told the story of how she lost 175 pounds over 2 years. WOW. She did it very slowly. She was not a young woman, so I know she wasn't lying. I'm still in awe. This meeting stuff is really working. My friend Ellen lost 2 more pounds and is almost at her 10% loss goal-- also very motivating. Having someone else so enthusiastic that is a friend has really kept me focused.
And a few more updates---
I have added Zumba to my repertory of fitness activities.
Here's my plan:
Every month I will add one more day of exercise per week.
Sounds like I've set the bar really low, I know.
But here's the scoop- I usually go gang busters at the beginning and then get hurt or overwhelmed. Not this time. My new fitness plan is to only do things that I like. I genuinely enjoy working out, but tap dancing and zumba don't even resemble "exercise" to me. Until I get the biggest chunk of weight off and want to focus more on fitness, this is how I'm doing it.
Fun first.
Fitness will follow.
And who knows? Maybe I will win $1,000,000!!!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Down a little, laughing at WW's politics
Woo hoo! Down another 1.4 lbs AND I had cake twice and lasagna last week. I'm liking the Points Plus plan. I have drunk the Kool-Aid, so to speak.
Anyhow, this blog is a short, less insightful one than my Mama Bean's World one, so if it seems scattered, I apologize. It's more of a brain fart blog than insightful.
So Ellen and I were at our meeting on Sunday-- already sounds like an AA thing-- and Matt was doing his thing. This week's outfit- red shirt, yellow belt, green pants and socks-- a stop light. The topic was time management. Quirky, but he always has something interesting to say.
As I was waiting in line to be weighed, the woman in front of me who ALWAYS has something to say- you know the type- and I struck up a conversation (I can't go more than 5 minutes without chatting someone up-- you know the type) and I said she needed to go shopping! She has lost about 40+ pounds and her pants were really baggy. She smiled. She started to tell me how great the WW snacks are. I told her I really don't eat that sort of thing (processed crap that you can buy for about half the cost at the grocery store without the WW logo). She then made some sort of crack about Matt. I asked about the old leader (Matt replaced her on the first Sunday I attended). She said she was great.
Interesting... not what I had heard. In fact our first meeting started with "Sally (not her real name) decided to step down on her own accord. I am Matt." The way it was said implied that something had happened and that maybe people in that group had something to do with it. I heard a few murmurs.
Now that I'm at my third meeting, I have to say, some people are clearly DYING for attention. We have 1/2 hour to give stickers to those who lost 5 lbs or hit milestones. They share their stories. It's actually fairly interesting.
And yes, from what I know about AA, very similar.
ANYHOW, there are a few women in the group that I've noticed that always have something to say or add. While most of them have lost weight, it's really time for the "award winners" to have the spotlight. Not for them to run their mouths. Every week.
I think Matt agrees, because he shuts them down pretty quickly.
So now there are undercurrents of a mutiny.
Okay, maybe not, but I know women. Trust me. Someone has already called someone to say something.
Because they didn't get to share their opinion on Trader Joe's.
And as he spoke, the woman I was behind in line who sat behind me, was making comments under her breath.
Listen, lady, get over it. If you want to be a leader, apply. You have the personality of gravel. I don't think you'll get it. But more importantly- SHUT UP. Some of us are interested. If he's not your cup of tea, change groups.
I do think Matt may be an acquired taste, but one thing is for sure- he's trying to make it fun. With the clapper and the goofy outfits. And it's only 30 minutes.
Lighten the frack up.
I have enough stuff in my life. I don't need WW's to become a drama. What is it with large groups of women???
So that's the scoop today!
Anyhow, this blog is a short, less insightful one than my Mama Bean's World one, so if it seems scattered, I apologize. It's more of a brain fart blog than insightful.
So Ellen and I were at our meeting on Sunday-- already sounds like an AA thing-- and Matt was doing his thing. This week's outfit- red shirt, yellow belt, green pants and socks-- a stop light. The topic was time management. Quirky, but he always has something interesting to say.
As I was waiting in line to be weighed, the woman in front of me who ALWAYS has something to say- you know the type- and I struck up a conversation (I can't go more than 5 minutes without chatting someone up-- you know the type) and I said she needed to go shopping! She has lost about 40+ pounds and her pants were really baggy. She smiled. She started to tell me how great the WW snacks are. I told her I really don't eat that sort of thing (processed crap that you can buy for about half the cost at the grocery store without the WW logo). She then made some sort of crack about Matt. I asked about the old leader (Matt replaced her on the first Sunday I attended). She said she was great.
Interesting... not what I had heard. In fact our first meeting started with "Sally (not her real name) decided to step down on her own accord. I am Matt." The way it was said implied that something had happened and that maybe people in that group had something to do with it. I heard a few murmurs.
Now that I'm at my third meeting, I have to say, some people are clearly DYING for attention. We have 1/2 hour to give stickers to those who lost 5 lbs or hit milestones. They share their stories. It's actually fairly interesting.
And yes, from what I know about AA, very similar.
ANYHOW, there are a few women in the group that I've noticed that always have something to say or add. While most of them have lost weight, it's really time for the "award winners" to have the spotlight. Not for them to run their mouths. Every week.
I think Matt agrees, because he shuts them down pretty quickly.
So now there are undercurrents of a mutiny.
Okay, maybe not, but I know women. Trust me. Someone has already called someone to say something.
Because they didn't get to share their opinion on Trader Joe's.
And as he spoke, the woman I was behind in line who sat behind me, was making comments under her breath.
Listen, lady, get over it. If you want to be a leader, apply. You have the personality of gravel. I don't think you'll get it. But more importantly- SHUT UP. Some of us are interested. If he's not your cup of tea, change groups.
I do think Matt may be an acquired taste, but one thing is for sure- he's trying to make it fun. With the clapper and the goofy outfits. And it's only 30 minutes.
Lighten the frack up.
I have enough stuff in my life. I don't need WW's to become a drama. What is it with large groups of women???
So that's the scoop today!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Still trucking...
I dipped into some of my extra points 2 days in a row. It was my son's birthday.
I have to say, it appears that everything is okay. I got on the scale today (and let's just be honest, weighing once a week is going to be a hard habit for me-- if I'm trying to lose, it's a daily event!). I survived.
I had half a waffle today at breakfast with my daughter. We split it. We ate a TON of fruit. I had a fancy schmancy (as she calls it) coffee.
It all feels very normal and within my points.
It really isn't dieting.
Interesting.
It's all starting to come together.
This week my parents are coming to visit. I am going to focus on adding a little more exercise. There's a spin class at 5 am that I once attended. The return time cuts a little close to my husband's departure time for school. With my parents here, I can give it a try and see if I make it back in enough time for him to get to work.
It's hard to explain, but even though I'm still heavier than I was at the beginning of the summer (the summer off with limited exercise following my surgery was not a good thing), I feel lighter.
Is that possible?
I am really going to be happy to hit that 5% goal. Even though it's more than I was a few months ago. When they set it at WW, I thought "Big, freaking deal."
It does feel like I'm permanently trending downward, though. There are no more babies in the plans. There is no more back pain. Each number that I hit, I'm saying good bye to it.
For good.
And not for good, hopefully; for good, definitely.
I have to say, it appears that everything is okay. I got on the scale today (and let's just be honest, weighing once a week is going to be a hard habit for me-- if I'm trying to lose, it's a daily event!). I survived.
I had half a waffle today at breakfast with my daughter. We split it. We ate a TON of fruit. I had a fancy schmancy (as she calls it) coffee.
It all feels very normal and within my points.
It really isn't dieting.
Interesting.
It's all starting to come together.
This week my parents are coming to visit. I am going to focus on adding a little more exercise. There's a spin class at 5 am that I once attended. The return time cuts a little close to my husband's departure time for school. With my parents here, I can give it a try and see if I make it back in enough time for him to get to work.
It's hard to explain, but even though I'm still heavier than I was at the beginning of the summer (the summer off with limited exercise following my surgery was not a good thing), I feel lighter.
Is that possible?
I am really going to be happy to hit that 5% goal. Even though it's more than I was a few months ago. When they set it at WW, I thought "Big, freaking deal."
It does feel like I'm permanently trending downward, though. There are no more babies in the plans. There is no more back pain. Each number that I hit, I'm saying good bye to it.
For good.
And not for good, hopefully; for good, definitely.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
So far, so adequate
Today is my son's birthday. He wanted lasagna and chocolate cake. All home made.
The good news- I can control what goes into it.
The bad news- what goes in, is genuinely not great.
I knew I would go over on my points today. That's what the extra points are for, after all.
I will say, I did a decent job planning for it. I took today off in order to be Super Mom. I really wanted a Starbucks coffe. I started to go down the path of "Well, I'm going to blow it tonight anyhow, so why not?"
Well, the big why not is because I can't. It's not negotiable I may go over on my points, but I'm not blowing them ALL off. I have 49 extra points to use every week. It doesn't mean I have to use them all. And I certainly don't want to go over.
Now some people might think "Well, it's his birthday, live a little."
Listen, every day is a freaking celebration for me. No joke.
I need to learn how to celebrate the many fun things in my life without making it about the food.
It may seem obvious or not significant to you, but to me, not completely giving up today was a HUGE deal.
And right now, I'm sitting here and thinking about the cake in the fridge (it was wonderfully delicious, might I add).
I am not going to have another piece. In fact, the piece that I had was much smaller than I would have normally had.
I'm very proud of myself.
And after tap dancing tonight, it would have been very easy to grab it from the outside fridge to have a piece while I cooled down.
And I didn't.
I had a nice meal. Within reason. And I enjoyed it.
I had to think about it. It wasn't natural. But it's a step.
Stress eating and joy eating. Fought them both this week. I'm really trying to give up the bad habits.
Slowly but surely, I will get there!
The good news- I can control what goes into it.
The bad news- what goes in, is genuinely not great.
I knew I would go over on my points today. That's what the extra points are for, after all.
I will say, I did a decent job planning for it. I took today off in order to be Super Mom. I really wanted a Starbucks coffe. I started to go down the path of "Well, I'm going to blow it tonight anyhow, so why not?"
Well, the big why not is because I can't. It's not negotiable I may go over on my points, but I'm not blowing them ALL off. I have 49 extra points to use every week. It doesn't mean I have to use them all. And I certainly don't want to go over.
Now some people might think "Well, it's his birthday, live a little."
Listen, every day is a freaking celebration for me. No joke.
I need to learn how to celebrate the many fun things in my life without making it about the food.
It may seem obvious or not significant to you, but to me, not completely giving up today was a HUGE deal.
And right now, I'm sitting here and thinking about the cake in the fridge (it was wonderfully delicious, might I add).
I am not going to have another piece. In fact, the piece that I had was much smaller than I would have normally had.
I'm very proud of myself.
And after tap dancing tonight, it would have been very easy to grab it from the outside fridge to have a piece while I cooled down.
And I didn't.
I had a nice meal. Within reason. And I enjoyed it.
I had to think about it. It wasn't natural. But it's a step.
Stress eating and joy eating. Fought them both this week. I'm really trying to give up the bad habits.
Slowly but surely, I will get there!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Second weigh in
I had my second weigh-in. It was my third WW meeting, but considering last week I had only been "on program"-- I'm learning the lingo quite well-- for 3 days, this really felt like my first official.
Last night was interesting. I actually ended up eating a little late and went over on my WW points. I remember what Matt, the leader, said last week- eat the pie. I was hungry. This isn't about deprivation. I need to learn to eat when I'm hungry. I also spent part of the evening watching the 9-11 new specials and wasn't exactly feeling great. I reached for Oreos. I put them back. I knew it wouldn't make me feel better or full. I made a little open faced pizza that was the same amount of points and did fill me up. I ate because I was hungry, not because I was sad. I honestly assumed I probably gained or maybe lost half a pound. Oh, and my husband's aunt posted a horrible picture of me on Facebook. HORRIBLE. My husband looked great, though, if I don't say so myself! He was nice and pointed out that it really was a bad angle and I don't look like that. Regardless, this will be the photo that I use when I'm sharing my before/after story with Shape Magazine.
So after seeing the picture, knowing I ate late and over, I was a little worried.
I lost 1.4 pounds.
I thought she had said .4 and I was ecstatic when I saw my tracker and what she had written.
One of my girlfriends that goes with me (I need to ask if I can share their names), was sad that she had only lost 1.6 pounds. I think when she had done WW before she lost weight more quickly early on. I think she's going to find the same thing that I did- we actually eat pretty well and it's going to take some time.
So I'm down 2.2 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks.
Works for me.
Matt wore yellow today. Still had his clapper. I thought my friend who just joined was going to crack up. But again, once I got over the insanity, the guy knows his stuff and he's really passionate about it.
Really passionate.
There was a woman who lost 40 pounds. She very sincerely said she tracks everything. Even when she's over. If she ate it, she tracks it. I haven't yet, but I can see where I will blow something off- (well, I know I ate it, let's just say it's bad, I'll be better tomorrow, no need to write it down, bad girl....)
After her reminder, I'm writing it all down. I am going to own it like the brochure this week says.
I feel like I joined a cult.
Today we met a good friend for lunch at my favorite restaurant- Firefly. I think I was good. Probably not great. I looked up what I thought I would eat in advance and tried to plan. Realistically, I think I'm going to just throw in some extra points for things I didn't quite get right. I'm sure they use more oil than I could imagine. I worked in restaurants. I know. It ain't pretty.
The meetings are clearly going to make a difference. I know it already. Going with friends is going to make a difference. Having a husband who recently lost 100+ pounds is already making a difference.
Compared to other times that I've tried to lose weight, this time it really IS different. I have support and a real plan.
I'm still trying to figure out how to fit the gym in. 5 am is still seeming early, but I'm almost there. And please don't tell me to work out at home. With 2 kids and 2 dogs, I can't. I'll share my yoga story sometime. It's so funny you might pee. Also, I enjoy the gym. It's my time. Unfortunately with my husband teaching an early bird class this year, "my time" is only allotted prior to 6 am.
So that's the skinny today... my big progress was not reaching for crappy food to feel better and realizing that it's okay to eat when I'm hungry.
Baby steps.
Last night was interesting. I actually ended up eating a little late and went over on my WW points. I remember what Matt, the leader, said last week- eat the pie. I was hungry. This isn't about deprivation. I need to learn to eat when I'm hungry. I also spent part of the evening watching the 9-11 new specials and wasn't exactly feeling great. I reached for Oreos. I put them back. I knew it wouldn't make me feel better or full. I made a little open faced pizza that was the same amount of points and did fill me up. I ate because I was hungry, not because I was sad. I honestly assumed I probably gained or maybe lost half a pound. Oh, and my husband's aunt posted a horrible picture of me on Facebook. HORRIBLE. My husband looked great, though, if I don't say so myself! He was nice and pointed out that it really was a bad angle and I don't look like that. Regardless, this will be the photo that I use when I'm sharing my before/after story with Shape Magazine.
So after seeing the picture, knowing I ate late and over, I was a little worried.
I lost 1.4 pounds.
I thought she had said .4 and I was ecstatic when I saw my tracker and what she had written.
One of my girlfriends that goes with me (I need to ask if I can share their names), was sad that she had only lost 1.6 pounds. I think when she had done WW before she lost weight more quickly early on. I think she's going to find the same thing that I did- we actually eat pretty well and it's going to take some time.
So I'm down 2.2 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks.
Works for me.
Matt wore yellow today. Still had his clapper. I thought my friend who just joined was going to crack up. But again, once I got over the insanity, the guy knows his stuff and he's really passionate about it.
Really passionate.
There was a woman who lost 40 pounds. She very sincerely said she tracks everything. Even when she's over. If she ate it, she tracks it. I haven't yet, but I can see where I will blow something off- (well, I know I ate it, let's just say it's bad, I'll be better tomorrow, no need to write it down, bad girl....)
After her reminder, I'm writing it all down. I am going to own it like the brochure this week says.
I feel like I joined a cult.
Today we met a good friend for lunch at my favorite restaurant- Firefly. I think I was good. Probably not great. I looked up what I thought I would eat in advance and tried to plan. Realistically, I think I'm going to just throw in some extra points for things I didn't quite get right. I'm sure they use more oil than I could imagine. I worked in restaurants. I know. It ain't pretty.
The meetings are clearly going to make a difference. I know it already. Going with friends is going to make a difference. Having a husband who recently lost 100+ pounds is already making a difference.
Compared to other times that I've tried to lose weight, this time it really IS different. I have support and a real plan.
I'm still trying to figure out how to fit the gym in. 5 am is still seeming early, but I'm almost there. And please don't tell me to work out at home. With 2 kids and 2 dogs, I can't. I'll share my yoga story sometime. It's so funny you might pee. Also, I enjoy the gym. It's my time. Unfortunately with my husband teaching an early bird class this year, "my time" is only allotted prior to 6 am.
So that's the skinny today... my big progress was not reaching for crappy food to feel better and realizing that it's okay to eat when I'm hungry.
Baby steps.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The night before the weigh-in....
My mother and I don't have a lot, if any, hobbies in common. I cook. She knits. The list goes on.
She started Weight Watchers about a year ago and has done quite well on it. A nice side benefit of joining myself is that we have quite a bit to talk about (aside from my hilarious children).
After I first joined she told me to make sure I didn't eat or drink before weigh-in because it would make my numbers look better. I laughed and told her that it wasn't about winning a prize, I was in this for the long haul, so I wasn't going to try and fake my numbers.
And yet, I sit here, 14 hours before a weigh in and guess what I'm doing?
I'm trying to figure out how much popcorn I can eat and how much water I will be able to "process" before tomorrow's weigh in.
I told you- the stickers are my motivation at this point! At least for the first 10 pounds. Or 50.
It's close to my "special girl time" so I know regardless, the numbers aren't going to be great.
So tomorrow, at 11 am, the challenge is going to be not throwing in the towel.
Obstacle One.
Giving up my unrealistic expectations.
The eating has really not been too bad. We even had an emergency McDonald's run today-- one of the two times a month we go. I managed to keep it to 11 points. No fries, of course! I have been consciously cooking and planning meals and lunches. It hasn't been too rough.
But it's not exactly falling off. My pants aren't loose. I don't feel particularly more or less energetic.
Everything seems the same.
Is this how it's going to be? A slooooooow path.
And I'm sorry if 1/2-1 pound doesn't excite me enough. I seriously can gain or lose that overnight. T
So tomorrow, I don't have any great hopes of a sticker.
But it's little like buying a lottery ticket- if I didn't think there was a slight chance of winning, I wouldn't buy a ticket.
I keep hoping that tomorrow I wake up 25 pounds less.
So I think I will finally listen to my mother... just don't talk to me until after weigh-in. I'll be the one nearly naked, stomach growling trying to get a stupid sticker!
She started Weight Watchers about a year ago and has done quite well on it. A nice side benefit of joining myself is that we have quite a bit to talk about (aside from my hilarious children).
After I first joined she told me to make sure I didn't eat or drink before weigh-in because it would make my numbers look better. I laughed and told her that it wasn't about winning a prize, I was in this for the long haul, so I wasn't going to try and fake my numbers.
And yet, I sit here, 14 hours before a weigh in and guess what I'm doing?
I'm trying to figure out how much popcorn I can eat and how much water I will be able to "process" before tomorrow's weigh in.
I told you- the stickers are my motivation at this point! At least for the first 10 pounds. Or 50.
It's close to my "special girl time" so I know regardless, the numbers aren't going to be great.
So tomorrow, at 11 am, the challenge is going to be not throwing in the towel.
Obstacle One.
Giving up my unrealistic expectations.
The eating has really not been too bad. We even had an emergency McDonald's run today-- one of the two times a month we go. I managed to keep it to 11 points. No fries, of course! I have been consciously cooking and planning meals and lunches. It hasn't been too rough.
But it's not exactly falling off. My pants aren't loose. I don't feel particularly more or less energetic.
Everything seems the same.
Is this how it's going to be? A slooooooow path.
And I'm sorry if 1/2-1 pound doesn't excite me enough. I seriously can gain or lose that overnight. T
So tomorrow, I don't have any great hopes of a sticker.
But it's little like buying a lottery ticket- if I didn't think there was a slight chance of winning, I wouldn't buy a ticket.
I keep hoping that tomorrow I wake up 25 pounds less.
So I think I will finally listen to my mother... just don't talk to me until after weigh-in. I'll be the one nearly naked, stomach growling trying to get a stupid sticker!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I Swear, I Really Do Eat Healthy
I'm being very open about joining Weight Watchers. I always joke that if there's one bad habit you can't hide, it's overeating.
But here's my gripe-
If one more person says "You'll be amazed at how much weight you lose once you cut out fast food and soda," I may stab them.
I think 10+ people have uttered that phrase to me in the past week.
Here's the deal people-
I DON'T DRINK SODA, NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL. I EAT FAST FOOD ABOUT TWICE A MONTH.
I am NOT making this up. Check my bank records.
I very rarely- usually when I feel sick- will have a Fresca (even when I was in high school this was my beverage of choice when forced to have soda- people thought I was weird). Soda makes me belch. I also don't drink beer very often for this same reason. What can I say, I'm gassy.
Fast food gives me the shits. Which isn't to say I don't have an In-N-Out Burger every 2-3 months (appropriately named for me), and Taco Bell is my fast food of choice, but honestly, I don't like much of anything else. No joke. If you've ever hung out with me- think hard- have you ever seen me eat a french fry? Not often.
I also am not a big drinker.
So how did I get fat?
I love ice cream. We live across the street from a Dairy Queen. That was a bad decisions on our part.
I am a snacker. I can sock away a good 2000 calories at night, mindlessly munching while watching TV. We just put a TV downstairs in our house, by the kitchen. Also a bad decision. Easy access to the food.
I'm just so tired of hearing "Wait until you see what you REALLY eat..."
Well, after a week of tracking, let me tell.
I eat pretty darn well.
My normal breakfast is either plain yogurt with fruit, grapefruit and an boiled egg, or shredded wheat cereal with berries. This was before I started "dieting."
No joke. Ask my kids. I love grapefruit. We always have a bowl of boiled eggs in the fridge.
I've been packing my lunch for years. I've been made fun of for packing my lunch for years. I usually take a salad. I just like them. I also don't like salad dressing, so I usually just squeeze lemon on it. Sometimes I bring leftovers. I went through a phase when the market was plummeting where I ate out, simply to get out of the office for a break (I eat at my desk and work through lunch). Whole Foods was about 5 minutes from my old office.
Now dinner, I'm not so good. We often have grilled fish, chicken or flank steak. Maybe some sauteed shrimp or scallops. I steamed some tiny lobster tails last Friday. A side of frozen veggies or kale or swiss chard. And some sort of rice or noodles. Brown rice and whole wheat pasta. Check my pantry. My love of kale is odd and somewhat legendary among my friends.
Again, not joking.
Sometimes, it's not the healthiest preparation (I do have young kids), but in general, unless I "cheese" or "butter" something, that's pretty much our dinner. I actually cook.
Unless we go out.
Oops. That's been a big issue. As big as my ass. During the insanely hot summer, we were going out about 3-4 times a week.
That and the late night snacking. I swear, I could have everything that's unhealthy out of the house and I will actually bake something to eat, rather than grab an apple. And buttered popcorn- yum.
Oh, and my love of cheese.
But not bread- so please quit telling me to cut out the white bread. I only see it as a vessel for butter. I like the bread at "Grape Street", but I'm a multigrain sandwich thins, whole wheat mini bagel kinda gal. Never been a big fan. I don't think I've ever bought white bread- aside from the occasional Italian loaf for a "special dinner"- in my entire adult life.
So snacking, going out, and dairy are my nemeses.
I'm so happy that you lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks by not drinking soda. Yippee for you. That is not going to happen for me. I am going to lose 1/2-1 pound a week because, well, I just don't eat that much crap.
And that's GREAT that you never had to exercise. It's not an option for me. I can't really cut too much more out food wise, so I have to. And I actually enjoy it.
Anyhow, that's my rant tonight. It's kept me from eating. This week I've used flavored salt in lieu of butter on the popcorn. I also had laughing cow cheese on flatbread crackers. I'm definitely making adjustments in my snacking. Whether it will turn into 70 pounds worth of weight loss, I'm not sold on it. I always said I gained a pound a month over 5 years by switching from black tea to coffee with creamers- a mere 100 calorie a day difference. So maybe....
But it's one freaking pound at a time. I don't have any major overhauls. Which I guess is good, but it is making the tunnel seem very loooooooooooooooooooooooooong tonight.
I will do this. I will do this. I will do this.
And to all the people that have offered encouragement, thanks. I'm just a little pissy tonight. It's been a week and a pound. A pound that let's face it, could magically reappear tomorrow before I pee. I'm just a little overwhelmed with how long this is going to take. One step at a time. AAHHHHH.
Thanks for listening!!
But here's my gripe-
If one more person says "You'll be amazed at how much weight you lose once you cut out fast food and soda," I may stab them.
I think 10+ people have uttered that phrase to me in the past week.
Here's the deal people-
I DON'T DRINK SODA, NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL. I EAT FAST FOOD ABOUT TWICE A MONTH.
I am NOT making this up. Check my bank records.
I very rarely- usually when I feel sick- will have a Fresca (even when I was in high school this was my beverage of choice when forced to have soda- people thought I was weird). Soda makes me belch. I also don't drink beer very often for this same reason. What can I say, I'm gassy.
Fast food gives me the shits. Which isn't to say I don't have an In-N-Out Burger every 2-3 months (appropriately named for me), and Taco Bell is my fast food of choice, but honestly, I don't like much of anything else. No joke. If you've ever hung out with me- think hard- have you ever seen me eat a french fry? Not often.
I also am not a big drinker.
So how did I get fat?
I love ice cream. We live across the street from a Dairy Queen. That was a bad decisions on our part.
I am a snacker. I can sock away a good 2000 calories at night, mindlessly munching while watching TV. We just put a TV downstairs in our house, by the kitchen. Also a bad decision. Easy access to the food.
I'm just so tired of hearing "Wait until you see what you REALLY eat..."
Well, after a week of tracking, let me tell.
I eat pretty darn well.
My normal breakfast is either plain yogurt with fruit, grapefruit and an boiled egg, or shredded wheat cereal with berries. This was before I started "dieting."
No joke. Ask my kids. I love grapefruit. We always have a bowl of boiled eggs in the fridge.
I've been packing my lunch for years. I've been made fun of for packing my lunch for years. I usually take a salad. I just like them. I also don't like salad dressing, so I usually just squeeze lemon on it. Sometimes I bring leftovers. I went through a phase when the market was plummeting where I ate out, simply to get out of the office for a break (I eat at my desk and work through lunch). Whole Foods was about 5 minutes from my old office.
Now dinner, I'm not so good. We often have grilled fish, chicken or flank steak. Maybe some sauteed shrimp or scallops. I steamed some tiny lobster tails last Friday. A side of frozen veggies or kale or swiss chard. And some sort of rice or noodles. Brown rice and whole wheat pasta. Check my pantry. My love of kale is odd and somewhat legendary among my friends.
Again, not joking.
Sometimes, it's not the healthiest preparation (I do have young kids), but in general, unless I "cheese" or "butter" something, that's pretty much our dinner. I actually cook.
Unless we go out.
Oops. That's been a big issue. As big as my ass. During the insanely hot summer, we were going out about 3-4 times a week.
That and the late night snacking. I swear, I could have everything that's unhealthy out of the house and I will actually bake something to eat, rather than grab an apple. And buttered popcorn- yum.
Oh, and my love of cheese.
But not bread- so please quit telling me to cut out the white bread. I only see it as a vessel for butter. I like the bread at "Grape Street", but I'm a multigrain sandwich thins, whole wheat mini bagel kinda gal. Never been a big fan. I don't think I've ever bought white bread- aside from the occasional Italian loaf for a "special dinner"- in my entire adult life.
So snacking, going out, and dairy are my nemeses.
I'm so happy that you lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks by not drinking soda. Yippee for you. That is not going to happen for me. I am going to lose 1/2-1 pound a week because, well, I just don't eat that much crap.
And that's GREAT that you never had to exercise. It's not an option for me. I can't really cut too much more out food wise, so I have to. And I actually enjoy it.
Anyhow, that's my rant tonight. It's kept me from eating. This week I've used flavored salt in lieu of butter on the popcorn. I also had laughing cow cheese on flatbread crackers. I'm definitely making adjustments in my snacking. Whether it will turn into 70 pounds worth of weight loss, I'm not sold on it. I always said I gained a pound a month over 5 years by switching from black tea to coffee with creamers- a mere 100 calorie a day difference. So maybe....
But it's one freaking pound at a time. I don't have any major overhauls. Which I guess is good, but it is making the tunnel seem very loooooooooooooooooooooooooong tonight.
I will do this. I will do this. I will do this.
And to all the people that have offered encouragement, thanks. I'm just a little pissy tonight. It's been a week and a pound. A pound that let's face it, could magically reappear tomorrow before I pee. I'm just a little overwhelmed with how long this is going to take. One step at a time. AAHHHHH.
Thanks for listening!!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The Dark Side of Mama Bean
If you're here reading this, it's either because we're friends on Facebook or you follow my other blog "Mama Bean's World."
After some thought, I decided to start a secondary blog solely focusing on my weight loss journey.
While I realize that this is clearly part of my world, it's also a separate part of it. I have to get this weight off. It's nothing to joke about. It's going to take a LOT of work. It's not going to be easy. It's going to require focus and commitment.
It's my private battle- that I've decided to share with the entire world, naturally.
This is not going to be particularly amusing.
It also doesn't involve my family, my friends, or my work. It's all me.
I can't not succeed. There is too much at stake. Staying fat and funny is no longer an option.
I joined Weight Watchers last week. It was completely demoralizing to realize that I need stickers to motivate me. I am smarter than that. I know what to do. Sadly, that doesn't mean I'm doing it. So I will pay $10.50 a week to stand on the scale and get stickers.
No shit.
The meeting this Sunday was entertaining to say the least. Our leader was dressed in head to toe in purple. He likes to clap with his little clapper thing. He sang. It was my biggest nightmare.
However...
He had some pretty terrific things to say. I'd heard them all before, but perhaps it was just the right time to actually get it in my head.
He said not to exclude foods, because they would be there when I hit my goal weight. I need to learn to eat them now, in moderation, or this isn't going to work.
He said to do the program- it works. It's not difficult. It takes effort, but is not impossible. He said he never heard anyone talk about reaching his or her goal weight by going at it half-assed. (I'm paraphrasing).
He told a story about a woman he ran into at a coffee shop who had a piece of lemon merengue pie in front of her. After she saw him, she didn't eat it. He said "Eat the pie." Then added, all you have to do is make the adjustment, exercise more, eat less later, but eat the stupid pie if that's what you want. Just track it and acknowledge it.
I like this program. It's about teaching me to break bad habits. Fruit and veggies are mostly 0 points. I know if I eat 50 apples a day I will gain weight (and get sick), but it already has me reaching for an apple as opposed to a cracker. Which lead to a box. And then some cheese. Because if you give Mama Bean a cracker, she's going to want something to go with it...
I am not going to be posting my weight, my measurements, my exercise regime.
I am going to be posting my thoughts on how much I hate that it has come to this. On how hard it is. On how easy it will hopefully become. On how I feel about the process. How my life has changed since I gained weight. How it will hopefully be changing as I lose it. How I am not the person on the inside that you see on the outside.
I will post updates on my sticker progress and when I reach milestones. Or when I get a compliment. I have a perfect job for that- I see my clients every 3-6 months. They will notice. I will post when I drop a size. When I achieve something special- like being able to run.
Maybe someone will find it motivating and join me. I strongly welcome comments.
I am doing this all for me. The weight loss. The blog. It will keep me from reaching for snacks. It will hold me accountable.
I'm putting it all out there.
Here I go.
After some thought, I decided to start a secondary blog solely focusing on my weight loss journey.
While I realize that this is clearly part of my world, it's also a separate part of it. I have to get this weight off. It's nothing to joke about. It's going to take a LOT of work. It's not going to be easy. It's going to require focus and commitment.
It's my private battle- that I've decided to share with the entire world, naturally.
This is not going to be particularly amusing.
It also doesn't involve my family, my friends, or my work. It's all me.
I can't not succeed. There is too much at stake. Staying fat and funny is no longer an option.
I joined Weight Watchers last week. It was completely demoralizing to realize that I need stickers to motivate me. I am smarter than that. I know what to do. Sadly, that doesn't mean I'm doing it. So I will pay $10.50 a week to stand on the scale and get stickers.
No shit.
The meeting this Sunday was entertaining to say the least. Our leader was dressed in head to toe in purple. He likes to clap with his little clapper thing. He sang. It was my biggest nightmare.
However...
He had some pretty terrific things to say. I'd heard them all before, but perhaps it was just the right time to actually get it in my head.
He said not to exclude foods, because they would be there when I hit my goal weight. I need to learn to eat them now, in moderation, or this isn't going to work.
He said to do the program- it works. It's not difficult. It takes effort, but is not impossible. He said he never heard anyone talk about reaching his or her goal weight by going at it half-assed. (I'm paraphrasing).
He told a story about a woman he ran into at a coffee shop who had a piece of lemon merengue pie in front of her. After she saw him, she didn't eat it. He said "Eat the pie." Then added, all you have to do is make the adjustment, exercise more, eat less later, but eat the stupid pie if that's what you want. Just track it and acknowledge it.
I like this program. It's about teaching me to break bad habits. Fruit and veggies are mostly 0 points. I know if I eat 50 apples a day I will gain weight (and get sick), but it already has me reaching for an apple as opposed to a cracker. Which lead to a box. And then some cheese. Because if you give Mama Bean a cracker, she's going to want something to go with it...
I am not going to be posting my weight, my measurements, my exercise regime.
I am going to be posting my thoughts on how much I hate that it has come to this. On how hard it is. On how easy it will hopefully become. On how I feel about the process. How my life has changed since I gained weight. How it will hopefully be changing as I lose it. How I am not the person on the inside that you see on the outside.
I will post updates on my sticker progress and when I reach milestones. Or when I get a compliment. I have a perfect job for that- I see my clients every 3-6 months. They will notice. I will post when I drop a size. When I achieve something special- like being able to run.
Maybe someone will find it motivating and join me. I strongly welcome comments.
I am doing this all for me. The weight loss. The blog. It will keep me from reaching for snacks. It will hold me accountable.
I'm putting it all out there.
Here I go.
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