And another .2 pounds are gone... jealous?!?!

Yes, I lost a whopping .2 lbs.

Amazing.

Astounding.

Holy crap this slooooow process is killing me.

I know I could step it up, go all "Biggest Loser" on it, but I really, really, really don't want this weight to ever come back.

Ever.

I could totally go all Type A, knock off 20 (or so I think) and I will be crabby and gain it all back the second I take my eye off the prize.

So little teeny, tiny losses every week.  This month-- I lost 2 pounds. 

I know.  Can't you see it in my.... wrists?

My clothes are looser, despite the minimal losses.  My heart rate monitor says my cardio fitness is improving.  All good stuff.

I just have to stay focused.  Every half pound adds up.

Or quarter pound as the case may be!

And to be honest, I'll take a .2 pound loss Thanksgiving week.

I keep telling myself if I can just stay even over the holidays, it technically counts as a 7 pound loss since the average American supposedly gains 7 pounds over the holidays.

But I would be lying if I didn't have bigger hopes for my birthday in January.  I had hoped to be 25 lbs down-- not unrealistic for 5 months.  It's not looking so good.

The other issue that I have is that I'm getting hungry at night.  I've increased my exercise and now I'm hungry.  I can eat as much fruit as I want per Weight Watchers-- but what I want is crap late at night.  So I'm working on that.

I'm working on a lot of things.

If it seems like this random mind fart goes back and forth between positive and negative, it's because it does.

I'm happy that I'm sticking with it.  I'm happy that in 12 weeks, I've only had 1 week with a gain (.2-- not much at all) and 3 weeks of staying even. 

I'm frustrated that all of this tracking and measuring and monitoring isn't making a bigger, faster impact.

Here's to another 12 weeks.... and if I'm "only" down 8 more pounds, well, that's 16 total.  And 12 more weeks... 24 pounds and another 12 weeks 32... and so on and so on and so on.

More random thoughts

So while I didn't pig out on Thanksgiving, I definitely exceeded my daily allowance of WW points.  I'm okay with that.  I started the day putting in the turkey, getting most everything ready and then I did an hour of Zumba and an hour of spin.  Thank goodness I was meeting friends at the gym, because I would have easily blown it off!

I thought it was interesting- nearly everyone in my family, as I had thought would happen, ate in moderation.  When I passed on the pie (more on that in a minute), no one said a word.  Even my nephew is turning into Mr. Buff!  It was nice.

As for the pie, someone took home the extra pumpkin.... so I ended up buying one today!!  It just didn't seem right to have a Thanksgiving weekend without any pumpkin pie!!

Yesterday, I had my leftover dinner and I probably could have scaled back a bit on it.  I used up my extra Weight Watcher points and even dipped into my exercise points allowance.  Oops.  That's a lot of eating.  And to be honest, I don't think I actually got everything that i ate.  I think starting on Monday, I'm going to have to start measuring.  It could have been worse or maybe not quite so bad-- I have no idea.  And most of the extra points went to alcohol.

Today it took a lot to get me to go to a spin class.  I wasn't feeling it.  Not even a little.  I went.  I wear a heart rate monitor, so I know when I'm pushing it.   I was most definitely not pushing it.

And my mind started to wonder.

I was really jealous of the fit people on the treadmills.  They weren't killing it.  They were maintaing.

I can not wait until I'm maintaining.

As I've said, I'm taking this very slowly on purpose.  Little changes.

But for fitness the thing is, the more you do, the more youhave to push to get the same results.  That's what's happening.  If I want to keep each hour of exercise to 500-600 calories burned, I'm going to have to keep pushing.

And I just want to be maintaining.  It looks like a lot less work.

So I was tired, stuffed, a little whiny and not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in.

Here we are 3 months into it. I'm getting bored. This is where I have to push through. 

I would really like to hit at least 10 pounds lost before the holidays!!  I am okay with slow, but this seems irritatingly so.  I keep wondering how all these people lost 60 pounds in 6 months.  I'm nowhere close to making that happen.


I think I might end up blogging a bit more to get over the hump. I can do this. I will do this. I'm committed to a year of this- tracking, pushing the exercise, blogging... and then, we'll see.  It'll be what it is. 

And that's all I've got today.

The Power of Friends

So this week the scale stuck, but I ate before weighed in which I normally don't do.  Not to make excuses, but with tiny movements on the scale week to week, every little bit matters.

Anyhow, this week was all about Thanksgiving (I'm anticipating a 62 point meal- 29 points a day is my norm.  If I stay within the my points all week, I should be good).  Our meeting leader also discussed how to deal with food pushers-- the people who are constantly telling you to take another bite, have another drink, etc, etc.

As he spoke, I immediately thought of people I had known over the years that clearly fit the bill.  My favorite was a former colleague who was drop dead gorgeous.  I had lost 30 pounds in between the kids and her response (in a whiny tone) "If you lose weight then you'll be smart AND pretty and that's not fair!"

Great.  Way to have my back, sister.

But now, it's very different.  My mother-in-law has recently lost a large amount of weight (I don't know if she wants me to share how much!).  My husband has lost 125 pounds and is still going strong.  Three of my best girlfriends- Shelley, Ellen and Lisa are going to Weight Watcher's meetings now with me.  At work, my assistant with the evil supercharged metabolism is supportive.  My office mate is supportive- she is a stick, but her husband has lost about 50 pounds this past year.  In my book group, quite a few women are WW devotees and have lost a lot of weight and kept it off.


In fact, I cannot think of anyone who doesn't support me.


I think I know more people who have gotten fit, lost weight or are in the process in the past 2 years than I ever have in my life.


I know Americans are supposedly getting fatter, but around me everyone is shrinking. Even better, these friends are being incredibly supportive.


A good friend I saw last week tried to get me to have a glass of wine last week when we went out, then stopped herself and said "I'm sorry.  I know you're being good.  Good for you!"

Much better than my former colleague.


My husband and I have had issues when one of us is committed and the other isn't - we now joke about it.  One of us will say "Want some ice cream?"  The other responds "No..."  The non-dieter says "C'mon..." and the other eventually caves.  Not any longer.  No dieting, just changing habits.  Together.


I have no intention of scaling back on Thanksgiving.  I added up the points already.  It's a lot.  If this is truly NOT a diet, then Thanksgiving is not going to scare me.  I am going to eat more than I normally would.  Period.  I love this holiday.  I love all the food.  It is one day.  I will have wine.  I will have pie.  I will love every bite.

What I won't do is have seconds. Or thirds.  I won't continue to eat like every day is a holiday all weekend. 

What's even better is that I can count on my friends and family to back me up on my choices. 

"Don't Let a Lapse Become a Collapse"

Don't let a lapse become a collapse- that was the catchphrase that I picked up from today's meeting.  I thought it was pretty good considering the last few weeks have been a little bumpy.  I've had a few "Well, I've already started, why not throw in the towel...." moments.  And I haven't.  While every day hasn't been pretty, I've tracked it all.  Even the Halloween candy.  All of it.

This week I was down 1.2 lbs.  Not bad.  Got rid of the pesky .2 I gained last week, plus another pound.  And my lovely "special time" started last night, so to be honest, I'm surprised I was down anything.

I put on an outfit that I wear regularly and I have to say, it was really loose.  I started tracking my waist measurement as well since the scale is moving oh so slowly. 

I was really happy last Monday when I went to Zumba and one of my back row buddies said "Girl, this is really working for you!"  Made my day.

I would be lying if I said this was getting easier.  I'm at that three month lull.  I thought I would be down much more-- 7.8 pounds in 11 weeks is disappointing to me.  I know it's a loss, and I'm happy I've lost it, but still.... I was hoping for something closer to 20-- after all, that's still less than 2 pounds a week.  It's tiring.  I am committed to this for a year.  After a year, I'll re-evaluate my goals.  If I'm happy where I am, I'll take a break and focus on maintaining wherever I am.  If I'm not but not exhausted with the process, I'll keep at it.  I will most definitely keep going to the meetings at least once a month so I don't gain anything back.  It really does seem to be the key. 

I still get annoyed when people offer me "tips"- like how I should not drink soda or fast food.  I guess if I had a fast food bag in my hand or a soda when they offered this information, it might be useful to know.  Since I actually can't stand soda and eat fast food about once a month, it's really not particularly useful (or solicited) advice.  Or that I should take my work-out's up a notch.  Sure.  That would be great.  It's not like I'm coming off 2 years of back pain and am carrying 80 extra pounds.  Yep, training for a marathon right now would be GREAT.  I'm sure I wouldn't get hurt, burn out or become completely discouraged at ALL. I want to slap them all and say "You know, what I'm doing is actual working. It's slow, but it is working." 

I'm eating healthy foods.  I'm conscience of what I'm eating.  I'm gradually adding in exercise at a level that makes sense for someone of my size and current fitness level.  And I am absolutely going to keep using Weight Watchers because every study shows it works and it is working for me. 

I try to watch "The Biggest Loser" but honestly, it's demotivating to me.  I don't have 3-6 months to exclusively focus on losing weight.  It's a piece of the pie of my life.  I need to come up with really simple, easy things I can do and will stick with.  I am taking a very different approach this time.  Because it's going to be my last time losing weight.  Ever.

The little losses add up.  Just when I'm really getting frustrated, something fits a little looser.  Someone notices. 

Having my friend Ellen showing up every week at the meetings is a big thing, too.  I've tried to work out with friends or diet with friends in the past and it never works.  I always assumed it wouldn't matter anyhow because my commitment was the big deal.  I have to say, having her there, sharing ideas, is making a HUGE difference. 

So that's where I'm at this week.  Still trucking along.  Not terribly enthusiastic this week, but still fully committed.

I will do this.