90% is not good enough

I had an aha moment this week.

90% is not good enough.

If you've hung out with me you know that I eat fairly healthy.  We always have fruit, not a lot of snacks.  I cook.  I don't eat much red meat.  I love fish.  We ride bikes.  I walk the dog.  I pack my lunch- usually salads.  While I couldn't survive Jillian of the Biggest Loser raiding our pantry, I think most people would be surprised if they saw what I ate.

Most of the time.

I have a huge late night snacking issue.  Blogging and playing Scrabble help with that.

But as I've been tracking  everything I eat ("If you bite it, write it"), it hit me.  That 10% that I'm not good has really blown it for me.  This past week was my husband's birthday.  I really, really, really wanted a margarita and a chimichanga.  When I looked up the points, it would have far exceeded my amount for the week-- especially since I had some cake.

And one bad night would have been normal for me.  We usually go out 1-2 times a week.  At least one of those times, I indulge.  That's my 10%.  Or maybe I have a blizzard.  Or a doughnut or two.

That once a week was really destroying the hard work of the other 90%.  When I saw 7 weeks work of tracking, it really hit me- the only reason I've been doing well, is because I'm sticking with it 100%, not 90%.

Now 90% might cut it if I was already thin-- I haven't really gained any weight in the past 2 years.  If I want to lose, I have to stick with it 100%.

I was talking to my assistant today about it-- she is my age, skinny and eats crap.  She is a metabolic wunderkind.  Pisses me off.

But as we were laughing about my Armageddon proof metabolism, I said I was just going to focus on the fact that I needed to look at it as only having 44 more Sunday's to weigh in or 44 more date nights to pass on drinks and dessert.   That's feasible.  I've already made it through 7. 

That 10% has really done a number on all my efforts.

During my second meeting at Weight Watchers, Matt mentioned something about doing the program 100%- not our own personal versions of it.  I thought "Who would pay to do it half-assed? Of course I'm going to do it 100%."  When I tried this on my own, I was happy with 90% because I didn't have a plan.  Now I have a plan.  My "version" is to have fun doing it-- and I have been.

I know I will make mistakes.  I know that I'm not going to worry on Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I'll be careful, I'll track it, but I'm not going to worry if I go over.  But the rest of the time, I'm shooting for 100%.  No more pretending every week is a holiday.  Our anniversary is this Thursday- we're going out with the kids on Thursday and then out for a "big people" dinner on Saturday. And I'm going to stick with it.  The best gift I can give my husband is a long healthy life.  This really is a lifestyle change-  all the time, every day. Not a diet.  

So that's all I've got today on my quest.