I finished the "Elements" or intro class to Crossfit.
I decided to repeat it before jumping in to the real classes. Because I figure if I take another month to focus on the basics, it will be a little easier. Because I'm a wimp. The really fit people scare me a little, to be honest.
Another woman in our class has also decided to repeat again, which makes me feel a little better. Let's just say neither one of us are spring chickens.
But here's the thing-- we didn't quit.
Don't get me wrong, I seriously considered quitting in the middle of the second week as I was hanging from the pull-up bar envisioning that one day I may actually be able to lift my legs, reflecting on the times when I could do 100 knee lifts and not break a sweat through the first 50.
Hanging. Dangling. Reminiscing.
Pissed.
Pissed at me for somehow getting in the position where hanging on was the best I could bring.
Pissed at the sad looks I got from the others in the class.
Pissed at the coach for clapping my achievement of simply not falling from the bar.
Really?
Hey. I am better than this.
So as I hung there like deer meat waiting to be processed,I decided not to quit.
Okay, maybe not right then. Maybe it was on the drive home. Or that night. Or whenever the humiliation finally subsided.
Regardless, I didn't quit. Neither did the other woman.
And while I may not be moving on to superfitdom any time soon, I am not going back.
No, I lost no weight. Not a pound.
But...
My clothes are loose.
I helped my parents move last week. I was lifting and moving things like a pro.
I carried 30 pounds of dog food in from the car today like it was nothing.
I'll take it.
I will proudly repeat the intro class.
Because I will not quit.
I may suck. A lot. For a long time.
But I will not quit.
Friday, June 29, 2012
What is This Crossfit of Which You Speak?
Reposted from "Mama Bean's World"
I started doing Crossfit 3 weeks ago. I've been posting about my trials and tribulations on Facebook and have mentioned it in this blog and my weight loss blog.
But on a regular basis I get asked "What exactly IS Crossfit?"
Crossfit uses natural body movements and resistance to build a core level of fitness that can be utilized in daily activities as well as sports.
Okay, so what is it really?
There is limited equipment use- pull up bars, kettel bells, barbells, dumbbells, gymnastic rings, rowing machines, boxes and bands. Many of the exercises are simple ones from PE class- burpees, push ups, sit ups and squats.
There is a Workout of the Day (WOD) that is on the whiteboard. (The workouts are often named after women-- which is what caught my attention. My former high school principal would post that he did 8 reps of Mary. I would comment "Did you at least buy her dinner?") They are either time based (AMRAP)-- as many rounds as possible during set time period or round based-- 6 rounds and going for your best time.
The workouts vary daily- and I mean vary. I am currently taking a beginner intro class, so much of our class is spent on technique. The gym that I go to (or box as they call it), the coaches are very into making sure you do it right. All of the exercises can be scaled down-- sometimes not enough for me, to be honest.
We started the day with a 400m Indian Run (which I opted to walk and save my tribe, but through their encouragement joined back into). Then we did band exercises for the remaining warm up. The actual work out, after reviewing the techniques were 20, 15, 10 thrusters (barbell squats to an overhead push press) alternating with 10, 15, 20 kettel bell swings.
What I really like about it is that while I am sore, I am never hurt. The varying workouts are logically designed and coordinated so that I work everything during the week without overfocusing on one exercise (which I do when I work out on my own).
So that's the basics.
Now MY version of Crossfit is a little different.
It involves moaning, whining, and figuring out the lowest/easiest form of what ever the exercise is. I never thought I could jump 18 inches onto a box. I can. I still cannot do a pull up, but I can do modified dips on the rings far better than I could have imagined.
I giggle when they use the term snatch. I'm sorry. It's funny.
I often roll my eyes.
I described burpees to one unsuspecting classmate as "the thing that coaches make you do when you piss them off." No, it is NOT an opportunity to further enhance your athleticism, although that was a lovely way for our coach to put it.
When I was doing kettel bell swings and the coach said I needed to pop and explode my hips more, I couldn't keep as straight face as he demonstrated a fierce hip thrust. I kept thinking "I've been married 10 years-- my hips stopped doing that a long time ago..." (my husband doesn't think that's funny, by the way...).
I am a bad Crossfitter.
I haven't lost any weight, shockingly. But what I have noticed is my clothes are looser and more importantly, when I was helping my parents move last week, I was insanely stronger. I lifted things, twisted more smoothly-- I was stunned. Last year at this time, I was on the couch recovering from surgery after having spending the large portion of the spring in constant back pain. I couldn't bend over to tie my shoes, let alone lift a 50 lb box.
What a difference a year makes.
To the other crossfitters I'm probably just an old, fat chick slowing them down. To me, I'm fighting from the inside out. No, hanging from the pull up bar for 30 seconds was not as great as doing 7 knee ups, but it really IS the best I've got as humiliating as it is. And last year, I wouldn't have lasted 10 seconds. Or even tried.
I'm scared to death to try the "real" class next week. I'm afraid I'm in over my head.
But I am going to try. With my sarcastic bubble over my head, of course.
Because the strange thing is, as terrible as I am at it (and trust me, I am TERRIBLE), it's a bit addicting. I was warned that it was cultish. It is. It's not fun, but it feels more like play. A torturous, hellish play, but still it's a game-- beat your times, beat your rounds. It's inherently self-competitive without being competitive with others. My balance is getting better. My core is stronger. I'm sleeping better.
It appears that it works. No matter how bad I am, it's still working. I've decided to stay off the scale for the remainder of the summer. I want to be fit. Besides, even if I never lose a pound, I still need to exercise for the rest of my life.
So that's what Crossfit is. In a way, it's become a personal quest for me to just be able to do the work outs. I think it's something different to everyone. It's not just an exercise class. That doesn't even begin to describe it.
If you're looking into it, don't wait. Give it a shot. It is difficult. It is overwhelming. But until you've done it, you won't understand.
I started doing Crossfit 3 weeks ago. I've been posting about my trials and tribulations on Facebook and have mentioned it in this blog and my weight loss blog.
But on a regular basis I get asked "What exactly IS Crossfit?"
Crossfit uses natural body movements and resistance to build a core level of fitness that can be utilized in daily activities as well as sports.
Okay, so what is it really?
There is limited equipment use- pull up bars, kettel bells, barbells, dumbbells, gymnastic rings, rowing machines, boxes and bands. Many of the exercises are simple ones from PE class- burpees, push ups, sit ups and squats.
There is a Workout of the Day (WOD) that is on the whiteboard. (The workouts are often named after women-- which is what caught my attention. My former high school principal would post that he did 8 reps of Mary. I would comment "Did you at least buy her dinner?") They are either time based (AMRAP)-- as many rounds as possible during set time period or round based-- 6 rounds and going for your best time.
The workouts vary daily- and I mean vary. I am currently taking a beginner intro class, so much of our class is spent on technique. The gym that I go to (or box as they call it), the coaches are very into making sure you do it right. All of the exercises can be scaled down-- sometimes not enough for me, to be honest.
We started the day with a 400m Indian Run (which I opted to walk and save my tribe, but through their encouragement joined back into). Then we did band exercises for the remaining warm up. The actual work out, after reviewing the techniques were 20, 15, 10 thrusters (barbell squats to an overhead push press) alternating with 10, 15, 20 kettel bell swings.
What I really like about it is that while I am sore, I am never hurt. The varying workouts are logically designed and coordinated so that I work everything during the week without overfocusing on one exercise (which I do when I work out on my own).
So that's the basics.
Now MY version of Crossfit is a little different.
It involves moaning, whining, and figuring out the lowest/easiest form of what ever the exercise is. I never thought I could jump 18 inches onto a box. I can. I still cannot do a pull up, but I can do modified dips on the rings far better than I could have imagined.
I giggle when they use the term snatch. I'm sorry. It's funny.
I often roll my eyes.
I described burpees to one unsuspecting classmate as "the thing that coaches make you do when you piss them off." No, it is NOT an opportunity to further enhance your athleticism, although that was a lovely way for our coach to put it.
When I was doing kettel bell swings and the coach said I needed to pop and explode my hips more, I couldn't keep as straight face as he demonstrated a fierce hip thrust. I kept thinking "I've been married 10 years-- my hips stopped doing that a long time ago..." (my husband doesn't think that's funny, by the way...).
I am a bad Crossfitter.
I haven't lost any weight, shockingly. But what I have noticed is my clothes are looser and more importantly, when I was helping my parents move last week, I was insanely stronger. I lifted things, twisted more smoothly-- I was stunned. Last year at this time, I was on the couch recovering from surgery after having spending the large portion of the spring in constant back pain. I couldn't bend over to tie my shoes, let alone lift a 50 lb box.
What a difference a year makes.
To the other crossfitters I'm probably just an old, fat chick slowing them down. To me, I'm fighting from the inside out. No, hanging from the pull up bar for 30 seconds was not as great as doing 7 knee ups, but it really IS the best I've got as humiliating as it is. And last year, I wouldn't have lasted 10 seconds. Or even tried.
I'm scared to death to try the "real" class next week. I'm afraid I'm in over my head.
But I am going to try. With my sarcastic bubble over my head, of course.
Because the strange thing is, as terrible as I am at it (and trust me, I am TERRIBLE), it's a bit addicting. I was warned that it was cultish. It is. It's not fun, but it feels more like play. A torturous, hellish play, but still it's a game-- beat your times, beat your rounds. It's inherently self-competitive without being competitive with others. My balance is getting better. My core is stronger. I'm sleeping better.
It appears that it works. No matter how bad I am, it's still working. I've decided to stay off the scale for the remainder of the summer. I want to be fit. Besides, even if I never lose a pound, I still need to exercise for the rest of my life.
So that's what Crossfit is. In a way, it's become a personal quest for me to just be able to do the work outs. I think it's something different to everyone. It's not just an exercise class. That doesn't even begin to describe it.
If you're looking into it, don't wait. Give it a shot. It is difficult. It is overwhelming. But until you've done it, you won't understand.
Running
Reposted from my blog "Mama Bean's World"
I don't like to run.
At all.
It is not fun to me.
Now you can try and convince me that it's great exercise.
Sure.
Because every great exercise starts with me groaning, bitching and wishing I were dead.
I get that some people find it exciting. They like to beat their times. They find it relaxing.
I do not.
For whatever reason, I cannot run. I mean, if an axe murderer were chasing me, I probably could. But it would have to be a big axe. Really big.
I think the reason my ancestors IQ's developed is because we were too slow to outrun the bear and were therefore forced to figure out ways to outsmart the bear.
My slowness has clearly benefited me.
But yet with this new Crossfit thing, I am being forced to learn to run.
I very seriously can walk faster. No joke.
I have a big, fat butt. I have skinny, weak ankles.
Explain to me why it's a good thing to force the issue?
Everyone I know seems to be running marathons or half marathons.
I run errands.
I did "run" a 5k. A kindergarten class beat me. They were juicing. Capri Sun. Not the waters, the full juice. The hard stuff. And I am NOT making this up.
So I plod and waddle along. I hear that someday I may enjoy it.
Don't hold your breath.
I don't like to run.
At all.
It is not fun to me.
Now you can try and convince me that it's great exercise.
Sure.
Because every great exercise starts with me groaning, bitching and wishing I were dead.
I get that some people find it exciting. They like to beat their times. They find it relaxing.
I do not.
For whatever reason, I cannot run. I mean, if an axe murderer were chasing me, I probably could. But it would have to be a big axe. Really big.
I think the reason my ancestors IQ's developed is because we were too slow to outrun the bear and were therefore forced to figure out ways to outsmart the bear.
My slowness has clearly benefited me.
But yet with this new Crossfit thing, I am being forced to learn to run.
I very seriously can walk faster. No joke.
I have a big, fat butt. I have skinny, weak ankles.
Explain to me why it's a good thing to force the issue?
Everyone I know seems to be running marathons or half marathons.
I run errands.
I did "run" a 5k. A kindergarten class beat me. They were juicing. Capri Sun. Not the waters, the full juice. The hard stuff. And I am NOT making this up.
So I plod and waddle along. I hear that someday I may enjoy it.
Don't hold your breath.
Why I am Doing Crossfit...
Repost from my regular blog "Mama Bean's World"
I am 42.
Overweight.
No flexibility.
I can't run.
I also have started one of the most intense workout programs of my life- Crossfit.
I first heard about Crossfit because my former high school principal started posting things like "I did Fran in 14:05"-- and I would respond "Does that include cuddle time?" He told me about Crossfit. Many of the workouts are named after the trainers. He also sent me a note when he saw how I had spent the past 6 months struggling with Weight Watchers with very little benefit. He thought it might be what I needed.
I looked into it. The way the schedule worked for the one nearest me, I had to wait until summer. Being a mom, a business owner-- there's not a lot of free time. Spring is also when my husband coaches track, so any every minute is accounted for until school is out. I didn't want to start something that I knew I couldn't do or would stick with.
I had another friend Shane (not my hubby) who also was doing it. He loved it. He sent me some encouraging links. And my friend Jay... And the list goes on and on.
Everyone-- especially the people who "knew me when"- cheered me on. My friend Emily in Connecticut started it as well. My friend Deanne in Illinois starts next week.
So why, out of all the things in the world did I decide to do something that is entirely out of the box for me?
First, nothing else was working. I am the quintessential low fat, reduced calorie, lotsa cardio example of how to get fat. I have exercised and dieted my metabolism into nothing.
Second, and this is the real reason. I had to. It looks impossible to me. So I had to do it.
Reconnecting with those people who "knew me when" was why. I used to take on every challenge with determination. There was nothing I couldn't do. After high school, when I was set to be an exchange student, my paperwork got screwed up. I was being sent to an entirely different country where I didn't speak the language. I thought about bailing, but then I figured what the heck-- why not? That was me.
When I picked colleges, a few people commented there was no way I could get into an Ivy League school- I should play it safe. I didn't. I loved every minute of having exceptional professors and meeting some of the brightest people that I still call friends.
I packed up my car, left a cushy job and started a new life, 2000 miles away in a city where I knew 1 person-- that I met a week before I graduated college and had had a 20 minute conversation with. I went into a male dominated industry, had a 95-98% chance of failing and I survived. I thrived even. That was me.
Then I got a little lazy. I joked that I started to play The Lowest Common Denominator Game-- how mediocre could I be and still be considered successful? And it was a very easy lifestyle to get sucked into. Into mediocrity.
I need this. Not so I look good. I don't care if I ever have my 21 year old body back.
I need this for my head. I need this because I need to prove that I am still that person-- the one who could look at rock wall and think "I can climb that"- not "Let's go get lattes instead." I need to remember how it feels to be strong. How it feels to easily run up a flight a stairs. How it feels to have a strong core. How it made me sing better. I need to remember how it feels when I look at something I can't do, focus and do it. How it feels to accomplish something that seems impossible.
Doing a pull up seems impossible to me. Easily running 400m seems like a dream-- 200m is a stretch. Easily doing regular push-ups. I can't.
I can't do any of those things.
Yet.
I need to do this for me.
Not to be skinny.
Not to lose weight.
But to remember that I am brave.
That I am not defined by a title on a business card.
That anything is possible.
I need to do this so I can find the girl I "knew when."
I am 42.
Overweight.
No flexibility.
I can't run.
I also have started one of the most intense workout programs of my life- Crossfit.
I first heard about Crossfit because my former high school principal started posting things like "I did Fran in 14:05"-- and I would respond "Does that include cuddle time?" He told me about Crossfit. Many of the workouts are named after the trainers. He also sent me a note when he saw how I had spent the past 6 months struggling with Weight Watchers with very little benefit. He thought it might be what I needed.
I looked into it. The way the schedule worked for the one nearest me, I had to wait until summer. Being a mom, a business owner-- there's not a lot of free time. Spring is also when my husband coaches track, so any every minute is accounted for until school is out. I didn't want to start something that I knew I couldn't do or would stick with.
I had another friend Shane (not my hubby) who also was doing it. He loved it. He sent me some encouraging links. And my friend Jay... And the list goes on and on.
Everyone-- especially the people who "knew me when"- cheered me on. My friend Emily in Connecticut started it as well. My friend Deanne in Illinois starts next week.
So why, out of all the things in the world did I decide to do something that is entirely out of the box for me?
First, nothing else was working. I am the quintessential low fat, reduced calorie, lotsa cardio example of how to get fat. I have exercised and dieted my metabolism into nothing.
Second, and this is the real reason. I had to. It looks impossible to me. So I had to do it.
Reconnecting with those people who "knew me when" was why. I used to take on every challenge with determination. There was nothing I couldn't do. After high school, when I was set to be an exchange student, my paperwork got screwed up. I was being sent to an entirely different country where I didn't speak the language. I thought about bailing, but then I figured what the heck-- why not? That was me.
When I picked colleges, a few people commented there was no way I could get into an Ivy League school- I should play it safe. I didn't. I loved every minute of having exceptional professors and meeting some of the brightest people that I still call friends.
I packed up my car, left a cushy job and started a new life, 2000 miles away in a city where I knew 1 person-- that I met a week before I graduated college and had had a 20 minute conversation with. I went into a male dominated industry, had a 95-98% chance of failing and I survived. I thrived even. That was me.
Then I got a little lazy. I joked that I started to play The Lowest Common Denominator Game-- how mediocre could I be and still be considered successful? And it was a very easy lifestyle to get sucked into. Into mediocrity.
I need this. Not so I look good. I don't care if I ever have my 21 year old body back.
I need this for my head. I need this because I need to prove that I am still that person-- the one who could look at rock wall and think "I can climb that"- not "Let's go get lattes instead." I need to remember how it feels to be strong. How it feels to easily run up a flight a stairs. How it feels to have a strong core. How it made me sing better. I need to remember how it feels when I look at something I can't do, focus and do it. How it feels to accomplish something that seems impossible.
Doing a pull up seems impossible to me. Easily running 400m seems like a dream-- 200m is a stretch. Easily doing regular push-ups. I can't.
I can't do any of those things.
Yet.
I need to do this for me.
Not to be skinny.
Not to lose weight.
But to remember that I am brave.
That I am not defined by a title on a business card.
That anything is possible.
I need to do this so I can find the girl I "knew when."
Friday, June 8, 2012
Week One of Crossfit: DONE
So I started my Crossfit journey, last week. I am sore. I am tired. I am out of shape. I am humiliated. I feel old. I feel fat.
I don't feel like quitting.
I almost ran 200m today. Not a big deal, but honestly, I barely made it 20m last Saturday. Next week I will make it.
My neck, however, has had better days. I'm hoping that little pop I heard in my neck from trying to do a supported head stand, wasn't a big deal.
The thing I am liking the most-- my legs were dying yesterday. Today it's my arms. Great. Perpetual pain. Lucky me. It is more sore than painful, though. I can handle sore. Sore feels like my muscles waking up. Remembering what they are there for.
I have a weird feeling that I will need to repeat the Elements class-- because I'm just not getting the movements as naturally as I would like. I think it's partly do to the fact that my center of gravity is not quite what most of the people in the class have. I've got more, um, lower momentum than most. Handstands... seriously? My ass over my head? Sure. That's gonna happen tomorrow.... I think not.
But hey, I can almost do a lap.
Woo hoo.
I am a machine.
Sigh.
I don't feel like quitting.
I almost ran 200m today. Not a big deal, but honestly, I barely made it 20m last Saturday. Next week I will make it.
My neck, however, has had better days. I'm hoping that little pop I heard in my neck from trying to do a supported head stand, wasn't a big deal.
The thing I am liking the most-- my legs were dying yesterday. Today it's my arms. Great. Perpetual pain. Lucky me. It is more sore than painful, though. I can handle sore. Sore feels like my muscles waking up. Remembering what they are there for.
I have a weird feeling that I will need to repeat the Elements class-- because I'm just not getting the movements as naturally as I would like. I think it's partly do to the fact that my center of gravity is not quite what most of the people in the class have. I've got more, um, lower momentum than most. Handstands... seriously? My ass over my head? Sure. That's gonna happen tomorrow.... I think not.
But hey, I can almost do a lap.
Woo hoo.
I am a machine.
Sigh.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
A New Day, A New Adventure
Today, I went to a demo/intro for Cross Fit.
I think I am going to die.
First, I am not a runner. I tried to train for a 5k a few years ago. Here's the thing... I don't like it. You would think I do. I like to listen to music, time to myself-- seems like a perfect sport for me. But I have hated it my whole life. I have asthma and it's always been a hassle. Plus, I just don't like it. Maybe this will change for me, but I doubt.
With that said, I need to be able to run more than 400m. Which apparently, I cannot. That is very, very, very sad. So yes, running is part of fitness, but I think the reason my brain developed is because my genetic makeup is that I can't outrun the bear, but perhaps I can outsmart it.
Second, I kicked it on the kettle bells. When I first picked it up I thought "You want me to do WHAT with this?" Easy. Tomorrow when I can't move, ask me again.
Third, I suck at push ups. I barely got through doing them modified.
So why did I sign up for a program that involves push-ups, running, pull-ups-- all things I suck at?
Because I suck at them. What I was doing wasn't working and I happily appreciate that other people knew more. It was time to really step out of the box.
I was a little taken aback when I was CLEARLY the least fit person in the room. By a long shot. The website had said they welcomed people of all fitness levels. Maybe everyone got into great shape?!?! One woman who was nice enough to befriend me (fat people were not welcome--- I know the vibe), commented after seeing me do the strength portion easily "Don't let the outsides fool you." I swear, I very honestly think God puts people in my life at the exact right moment saying the exact right thing. It's eerie, in fact. I needed to hear that. And she was right. I am a terrible runner. I will get better. But I don't suck at everything.
And here's the thing-- I was there. I wasn't on the couch.
Yes, I did ask if they would be serving donuts and coffee during the informational session. They did not, but they did laugh.
My take on the situation is either this will be the thing for me or it will be too difficult or I won't have the mental tenacity to do it. I can either be their biggest success story or put this in the pile "Well, I tried it....but I'm not there yet." For some reason, knowing how I feel at this moment, I think this is the thing for me. I like that they talk about strength and power- not numbers and points.
Being fit has always been more important to me than being thin. I focused on losing weight last year. This year, I am focusing on being fit. This summer, my focus will be Cross Fit.
I think I am going to die.
First, I am not a runner. I tried to train for a 5k a few years ago. Here's the thing... I don't like it. You would think I do. I like to listen to music, time to myself-- seems like a perfect sport for me. But I have hated it my whole life. I have asthma and it's always been a hassle. Plus, I just don't like it. Maybe this will change for me, but I doubt.
With that said, I need to be able to run more than 400m. Which apparently, I cannot. That is very, very, very sad. So yes, running is part of fitness, but I think the reason my brain developed is because my genetic makeup is that I can't outrun the bear, but perhaps I can outsmart it.
Second, I kicked it on the kettle bells. When I first picked it up I thought "You want me to do WHAT with this?" Easy. Tomorrow when I can't move, ask me again.
Third, I suck at push ups. I barely got through doing them modified.
So why did I sign up for a program that involves push-ups, running, pull-ups-- all things I suck at?
Because I suck at them. What I was doing wasn't working and I happily appreciate that other people knew more. It was time to really step out of the box.
I was a little taken aback when I was CLEARLY the least fit person in the room. By a long shot. The website had said they welcomed people of all fitness levels. Maybe everyone got into great shape?!?! One woman who was nice enough to befriend me (fat people were not welcome--- I know the vibe), commented after seeing me do the strength portion easily "Don't let the outsides fool you." I swear, I very honestly think God puts people in my life at the exact right moment saying the exact right thing. It's eerie, in fact. I needed to hear that. And she was right. I am a terrible runner. I will get better. But I don't suck at everything.
And here's the thing-- I was there. I wasn't on the couch.
Yes, I did ask if they would be serving donuts and coffee during the informational session. They did not, but they did laugh.
My take on the situation is either this will be the thing for me or it will be too difficult or I won't have the mental tenacity to do it. I can either be their biggest success story or put this in the pile "Well, I tried it....but I'm not there yet." For some reason, knowing how I feel at this moment, I think this is the thing for me. I like that they talk about strength and power- not numbers and points.
Being fit has always been more important to me than being thin. I focused on losing weight last year. This year, I am focusing on being fit. This summer, my focus will be Cross Fit.
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